Slow down you crazy childYou're so ambitious for a juvenileBut then if you're so smart tell me whyYou are still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?You better cool it off before you burn it outYou got so much to do and onlySo many hours in a day But you know that when the truth is toldThat you can get what you wantOr you an just get oldYou're gonna kick off before you even get halfway throughWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you're doing fineYou can't be everything you want to beBefore your timeAlthough it's so romantic on the borderline tonightToo bad but it's the life you leadYou're so ahead of yourselfThat you forgot what you needThough you can see when you're wrong But you know you can't always see when you're rightYou got your passion you got your prideBut don't you know only fools are satisfied?Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come trueWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you crazy childTake the phone off the hookAnd disappeaar for a whileIt's alright you can afford to lose a day or twoWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you. Vienna. Billy Joel lyrics awesome song.


I watched 13 going on 30 today. Great movie for me. I always do feel like I am 35 going on 13. There is a little kid in all of us. We just have to find it and hold on to it and never let it go.

this is me now 

This was me in April 2003. Wow 

I have been thinking

Ever since the other night, I have been thinking a lot about what was said and how it relates to my life. Referring to my acting class. It is pretty amazing to me that sometimes we just don't even understand our own selves. We have an idea of who we are, but when it comes out in the wash, we are not that person. Bizarre to me. As I sat and watched my audition tape, I thought I knew what I saw in the mirror everyday. On film I was totally not what I expected. I felt pretty for the first time in my life. Glamorous. I don't mean to sound vain or conceited, but I am 30 something and I have never felt glamorous in my life until this week. I don't think that I am a dog or anything, but just average looking. Plain and simple. Low maintence whatever. I am not all what I think that I am on the inside either. I am selfish, ego maniac, who thinks everything should be about me. I draw attention to myself on pupose. I direct the conversation to include me by telling relational stories so that I feel like I belong. That is my destination in life I think. To belong, to identify. For once, I am trying not to even care what anyone thinks about me. I am trying to be and say how I feel and not worry about the outcome of others. If they choose to get offended or mad or hurt, that is their business. I just want to be me. I probably want fulfill what I just said because I do care what you think. I do want people to like me. I bring crudeness on myself most of the time. Short jokes, dumb jokes, whatever is the joke of choice. I play into it, not on purpose mind you. I just say what I think which most don't to avoid looking stupid. I just say it without thinking and fall into the trap of being a joke. Not taken seriously.

My next thought is why do I judge people for the things they say. Oh he is smart, oh she is such an idiot, oh that is a valid point she made etc. Why can't I just sit and listen and not be judgmental? Why can't I be excepting of other people? Why do I always think that person is not cool. That person is an idiot. Where is the grace?

Enough thought.

I am going to disneyworld

Well, it is official we (my family extened included) are going to disney world in February. I made reservations today. mom, dad, bridgett, rod, hannah allie, eric holly, heidi and me will head off into the sunset to see the one and only mickey mouse request of the grandparents . The begged and pleaded for our munchkins to go so we are going.

Acting class was so different last night. Everyone was really tired and we were down in numbers. We were going to do our scences, but we had a great discussion which was very profitable and then we watched our audition tape. It was hard to believe that it was actually me on the screen. All the work that I put into the auditon really paid off. I was pleased. It is really important to live moment by moment and not let things around you bring you down. Have joy where you are even at office depot I need that. I have got to find that happy place there. I have got to find a place at work that I can go to and be able to leave the spinning that goes on there.


Life is great. for me.

My husband should not enrage people!!!!

Not to take away from the story in the paper, but this was the title on the Decatur Daily on line. It cracked me up because that is what My husband Eric is called some times "E"

People seeing ‘E’ turn enraged http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/index.shtml


Wow what a busy weekend! Work is getting crazier by the minute. More crap to put up with. I am trying to keep a positive attitued about it, but it just want happen. I want to throw a 2 year old tantrum last night, but refrained.

Must go to drum lesson then acting class tonight. It should be a good time.


I have been trying tackle the treadmill 3 times a week to keep myself maintaining. I stay hungry a lot more, but am still trying to eat the same. Headed now to exercise away.

good day, good night

I had a good day today. I talked with a long lost friend. My friend Kim Carrol Gray. We haven't spoken in 10 years. She saw me at work and I got her number and called her. It was nice talking with her. We are going to get together for lunch on Monday. It should be fun.

Eric and I talked about me quiting work and pursuing my acting thing. I struggle to do that because we are still working to get out of debt. We will see what happens with that.

OFF

I am off today and tomorrow, how wonderful it will be. yeah. I work the weekend and I am not looking foward to it. I am trying not to think about it. Work has been horrible the last couple of weeks due to back to school.

Today, I am going to go run on the treadmill, then come home clean house and watch a movie probably. Then work on some of the scripts that I have. Spend some time with the family. Especially, I want to spend some time with Eric because I haven't seen him much in the last 2 days going on 3. It will be fun day.

acting class

Just got home from my oasis. (acting class). I love it. It is awesome. We have a great time. Tonigh we were all auditoning for a movie that is to be made in California. It is great experience thanks to our wonderful teacher. His produciton company will be putting this movie on. It should be cool to see if any of us get a part in this movie, and if we don't it was cool to work the audition thing for me. At this moment, I had a great time. That is what you live for moment to moment.


Furgetaboutit

furgeitaboutit

No that is not a misspelling. I watched Donnie Brasco yesterday and I love that from the movie. It is a word that has multiple meanings. so forget about it alright.

Work freaking sucked tonight. I got off at 12:15. Crazy. People are more nuts at back to school than they are at Christmas. Freaking nut cases that come up with the school supply list. I am just thankful that I homeschool and don't have to do all of that crap. baby wipes for an 8th grader. wt.


I will be off tomorrow. I have a busy day planned though meeting in the morning at 10:00.

then back home to clean house, cook dinner, and iron clothes for tomorrow night. take heidi to drum lessons, get my hair done for the audition, then go to acitng class. Auditions tommorow for the film in California. keep your fingers crossed that I will break a leg.

Early reflections

I am up early this morning for no apparent reason. I just am.

I have got to stop eating so much. I have been eating to many points (weight watchers).

I haven't really gained weight. I flucuate here and there. Up and down. I just have to start on the losing track again. I need to lose about 10 more pounds.

I must stay in good health. I must. I just read an intresting article on alzheimer's disease. They say that dieabetes and high insulin levels are an attributer and genetics. My grandmother had it. It is one way I don't want to go out that is for sure.

So for me I am going to get back on board the weight loss train. hee hee.

Acting stuff is going well still. Class was fun the other night. Tuesday brings another audition. This is such great experience for me if nothing else.

WEll I am off to read some blogs and maybe back to bed for 1 hour or so.

acting update

Things are pretty well for me. I have got to get back into the swing of posting everyday or at least every other.

Acting wise, I have more work than I have in a long time. Meaning. I am preparing for several auditons, and working on a skit at church. I am have so much fun. Plus, I have material to work on for my class. It is all to much fun. I didn't get the part for one of the things I auditoned for, but it was a great experience for me to actually experience a true film audition.

Work on the other hand is a little stressful at the moment. I hate back to school worse than Christmas. ARGH. I guess to be on the thankful side of things at least their is a demand for school supplies so that I can keep my job.

I have class tonight so I must go rehearse.

Charlie and the chocolate factory was

excellent. I had to think about it for a day before I could actually say how I felt. Johnny Depp is just brillant. He is as real as it gets. The guy that plays charlie is very believable as well. It was the weirdest movie I have ever watched. Well there was Fight Club.


I heard today that I didn't get the part in the b-town movie, but that one of my friends did. I was cool with that. She is so deserving and a great actress. I am very excited for her. I am not just saying that.


Still rehearsing for the california movie auditon. It will be videod in Huntsville. It is pretty fun. Hopefully, if I am not cast for the roll that I am auditioning for, that I will be cast at least for an extra. We will see.


I love my new take on life. Be honest, be truthful and don't let anyone get you down.

What's it like, Neverland?

One day I'll take you there


From Finding Neverland

I got scripts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have 4 scripts I am working on. It is crazy for sure. I have 2 auditons coming up. I love it. I am pumped about all of this.

Good b'day for me. worked, cooked,swam, grocery shopped, saw my granny. In reverse order, hee hee. The work part wasn' t so fun, but whose work is, unless you are a movie star. hee hee. Oh well, Life goes on.

please don't make me eat anymore. please please i beg you

That is the way I feel for sure. I feel like i way 1 ton.

It was a great weekend. Eric took off Friday to spend the day with me for my birthday. He is so sweet. He suprised me by scheduling us a 1 hour massage at Decatur Massage Theraphy. Go there you will not be disappointed. Then we did some running around. Then we went to eat at the jazz factory. Very nice dinner, great atmosphere, great live quintet music. After dinner, we headed over the the flying monkey, very artsey warehouse. Their was a classical guitarist and a well renowned percussionist playing some latin music. It was super cool for sure. Then we caught up with Scott, Jeremey, allison, derek, and rob. We headed over to Scott's to hang out and be goofy.

Saturday, we got up and headed out to Huntsville. We ran some errands first, then to humphries for a nice lunch. then to the tatoo convention. (See Eric's blog for his comments) I found it very intresting. There were so many different people there. There were people who didn't know anything about tatoo's to people who were tatoo'd all over. I was amazed at the art and gained a new respect for tatoo artist. Someone came up to me and say I want this on my arm, It would take me a lifetime to draw it. This guy whips it up in like 1 minute. Crazy stuff. Crazy. It was pretty amazing until the wiggles concert let out and parents brought their young children in there with their captian feathersword's sword. Kids were like eeew that is ugly eewww look at her hair that is weird. Just craziness.

One thing that really got to me is how people just get a tatoo for no reason. One lady goes up to this guy who is like Johnny Depp of the tatoo world and says, I had a hankering to get a tatoo and I don't want to spend a lot, I want something small right here and proceeds to show her left boob (no nipple). the artist said well what do you want to get their and how big do you want it? she goes I don't know what do you think? he quotes her and she walks away. Crazy. If I was going to get something inked on my body. I would have to have more than a hankoring. If I am going to carry this ink around with me until the day I die, it will be well thought out and I will not get some stupid meaningless tatoo. enough said. It was a cool refreshing artsey weekend needless to say.

After that, we headed to best buy to look at some stuff. Then to mcallistar's to get tea and eat cheesecake. It was great, until we started to leave and the bottom fell out. It rained and rained and rained and finally we said screw it lets go. we ran to the car and headed to meet up with scott, allison, jeremey, and derek. after a while we all went to eat and then headed to scott's to hang. e and I came home and headed to bed.

The girls came home and then it was to church to see dave get his head shaved my high priest eric. then again to mavis for another birthday feast. After that came home took a nap. The girls and eric woke me up to give me another gift from them. Mom and dad came by and brought me money and the girls had mom buy me a candle smells good.

My sister wanted to take me to olive garden for my birthday, I told her I didn't want to go. I can't believe I used to eat like this all of the time. My god no wonder i felt like crap all of the time. I dont' know what we will do instead.

Church was good this morning. I enjoyed the worship. It sounded wonderful with the keys up there.

Tomrrow I will wake up and will have spent 34 full year and start 35. All I can say is that if the next 35 years are as good as the past 35, I can't wait for the ride especially if eric is by my side.

Another year

Almost another year older. Monday I will be 35. It sound crazy even saying that because I still feel 8 or something. I had a conversation with a friend of mine and we both agreed that we are still and will always be young.

Good new is, I have 2 auditions coming up. One movie is going to be filmed in Birmingham. The other will be filmed in California. I am trying not to get hung up on landing the role and focus on prepartion for the audition. This will be my first real movie audition. The one for B-town will be on Tuesday. The other will be in a couple of weeks. I just want to have a good time doing my audition that way if I don't get the part, I still had fun. I don't want to tense up and get all freaky on myself about it. I am constantly trying to kill the competive spirit within. heee heee . All those sports I played in school.

Hopefully, blogging will become a regular thing for me soon. With school starting back and all of that. We will not actually start back until September 6 I think it is. Oh the benifit of homeschooling. We may start a week early I haven't decided yet.


My nieces will start 3k this year. I can't believe they are that big.

I took Holly and Heidi shopping for school clothes this week. Scored some great deals at Dillards. Got like 20 pieces of clothing for under $200 dollars. That is crazy for quality clothing.


Eric already gave me the best birthday present ever. He took today off to spend it with me. He has planned out the day for my birthday. Fun times WILL be had. The kids are at the lake all weekend. They will come home Sunday morning. I don't have to work until Monday night. Life is grand. Well must get on to the celebrating.

busy at work

It has been a past couple of busy days. Work is crazy with all the school shopping and no regular cashiers scheduled, so guess who the cashier is. I look foward to Tuesday. Got to practice. cooking dinner and going to watch once upon a time in mexico.

Back in the saddle, hopefully.

After much swimming, we are done with summer swim. It was fun, but busy. I don't know I love all that mommy stuff.

My sister in law just left and headed back to California. She seems to be happier, now she is there and doing law school. I am happy for her.

I have been getting some bites on my acting stuff. Hopefully I will be hearing to do some screen test in a couple of shorts pretty soon.

The kids and i have been doing the library thing lately. The summer reading program. Who did that when they where little. If you want a childhood memory, dial a story 256-350-2011.

Acting class is saving me a bunch of money in theraphy. hee hee.

I am very happy for my hubby as well, he is officially in Nail. That is a band. Good for him. I am very happy about that. He deserves something good to happen to him. His life has not been the easiest and Good things need to be coming around for him.


What else, Gosh so much so little time to write. We have swim at 9 in the morning. Unlike Eric, I will be glad when it goes back to the afternoon.

Well that is all I can think of must go to bed.

Thoughts

We as Christians are feeding the world the wrong message. We tell them that if they get saved it will all be better. I heard someone say this week. That when you except Christ you get fiery furnaces, lions dens, time in the dessert. Yes there are those sweet moments, but their are the sour one to.

I am reminded of an article that I received in one of my wedding gifts. It discussed mountaintop experiences. How we must push on in difficult times because going up the mountain is difficult, but we can't quit because the mountain peak may just be a couple more steps away.