Tuesday, October 02, 2007

letting go

I am at a time in my life where I feel like things are spinning and spinning. I have not been very peaceful. My brain has been out of control.

I am faced with

Do I work or do I stay home?
Do I take my teaching test or Do I just wait?
Do I keep trying to have an acting career or Do I just give up on that dream?
Do I try to be content being a mom and and wife or do I try for more things?

I seek God everyday on this. I am a Christian and really want to live like one. I want to put things down in front of him and let them go and allow him to direct and figure out things for me. I just want to sit back and say ok God I can't wait to see what you are going to do. It is hard not to want nice things. We chose long ago that I would stay at home with our kids and not work. I have loved every minute of being here. Even though they are in school just being able to get things done around the house for all of our family and go to school and eat lunch with Heidi it is cool. But all of this cost us something. I know that it has been the right thing to do. I feel that it was the best decision that we could have made. I don't know what direction God will take me, but I am dedicated to be found faithful to him and when he does seek me, I want to be found holy and acceptable in his sight. When he had the tabernacle built in the Old testament, he started with a dwelling place for himself. Just as he started with himself years ago, he started ,with himself in me. I stand in the gap for many of you that read this blog. I know many times you may not no this, but I pray for you that God will work in your life and that you will allow him to do so. May God bless anyone who reads this and May he rest in your heart and soul forever.

No comments: