Wednesday, August 31, 2005

What a crazy weekend and week!!!!!!!

I am so devastated by the whole weather thing. I am to the point that I can't even watch the news anymore. I get so depressed and I start crying every time I sit down and watch the news. Seriously I do. I feeling very moved. I even said out loud today that I was going to get in my car and drive down there an pick up all of those little kids and babies that are without water and get them some. For me I feel for the kids the most. They had no choice to stay or go. They live with their parents choices. How sad that they have no water, food or toys to play with.

Heidi has been watching the news with me and she was moved to do something. She wanted to go tell the people down their that God loves them when she got older. I motivated her to do something to show the people God's love. With a little help from me, she has decided to take a couple of gallon jars to school and collect money from all of her schoolmates and donate the money to some fund to help the hurricane victims. All of this was very moving to me, but I was really moved when she brought her last weeks allowance and put it in the jar. How sweet is that.

A friend of mine who is not very wealthy at all has had 5 family members move in with him for who knows how long. They are from slidell pretty much where the hurricane came in or where the surge hit really big. I really feel for him and have decided to try to raise a little money from friends to help out with his grocery bill. That is tough. Here you are trying to make ends meet working hard and then you get 5 more attachments. That is just hard. Hopefully, I will be able to help him out a little myself.

We all definitely have something to be thankful for that is for sure.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Slow down you crazy childYou're so ambitious for a juvenileBut then if you're so smart tell me whyYou are still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?You better cool it off before you burn it outYou got so much to do and onlySo many hours in a day But you know that when the truth is toldThat you can get what you wantOr you an just get oldYou're gonna kick off before you even get halfway throughWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you're doing fineYou can't be everything you want to beBefore your timeAlthough it's so romantic on the borderline tonightToo bad but it's the life you leadYou're so ahead of yourselfThat you forgot what you needThough you can see when you're wrong But you know you can't always see when you're rightYou got your passion you got your prideBut don't you know only fools are satisfied?Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come trueWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you crazy childTake the phone off the hookAnd disappeaar for a whileIt's alright you can afford to lose a day or twoWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you. Vienna. Billy Joel lyrics awesome song.

I watched 13 going on 30 today. Great movie for me. I always do feel like I am 35 going on 13. There is a little kid in all of us. We just have to find it and hold on to it and never let it go.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

this is me now Posted by Picasa
This was me in April 2003. Wow Posted by Picasa

I have been thinking

Ever since the other night, I have been thinking a lot about what was said and how it relates to my life. Referring to my acting class. It is pretty amazing to me that sometimes we just don't even understand our own selves. We have an idea of who we are, but when it comes out in the wash, we are not that person. Bizarre to me. As I sat and watched my audition tape, I thought I knew what I saw in the mirror everyday. On film I was totally not what I expected. I felt pretty for the first time in my life. Glamorous. I don't mean to sound vain or conceited, but I am 30 something and I have never felt glamorous in my life until this week. I don't think that I am a dog or anything, but just average looking. Plain and simple. Low maintence whatever. I am not all what I think that I am on the inside either. I am selfish, ego maniac, who thinks everything should be about me. I draw attention to myself on pupose. I direct the conversation to include me by telling relational stories so that I feel like I belong. That is my destination in life I think. To belong, to identify. For once, I am trying not to even care what anyone thinks about me. I am trying to be and say how I feel and not worry about the outcome of others. If they choose to get offended or mad or hurt, that is their business. I just want to be me. I probably want fulfill what I just said because I do care what you think. I do want people to like me. I bring crudeness on myself most of the time. Short jokes, dumb jokes, whatever is the joke of choice. I play into it, not on purpose mind you. I just say what I think which most don't to avoid looking stupid. I just say it without thinking and fall into the trap of being a joke. Not taken seriously.

My next thought is why do I judge people for the things they say. Oh he is smart, oh she is such an idiot, oh that is a valid point she made etc. Why can't I just sit and listen and not be judgmental? Why can't I be excepting of other people? Why do I always think that person is not cool. That person is an idiot. Where is the grace?

Enough thought.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I am going to disneyworld

Well, it is official we (my family extened included) are going to disney world in February. I made reservations today. mom, dad, bridgett, rod, hannah allie, eric holly, heidi and me will head off into the sunset to see the one and only mickey mouse request of the grandparents . The begged and pleaded for our munchkins to go so we are going.

Acting class was so different last night. Everyone was really tired and we were down in numbers. We were going to do our scences, but we had a great discussion which was very profitable and then we watched our audition tape. It was hard to believe that it was actually me on the screen. All the work that I put into the auditon really paid off. I was pleased. It is really important to live moment by moment and not let things around you bring you down. Have joy where you are even at office depot I need that. I have got to find that happy place there. I have got to find a place at work that I can go to and be able to leave the spinning that goes on there.

Life is great. for me.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My husband should not enrage people!!!!

Not to take away from the story in the paper, but this was the title on the Decatur Daily on line. It cracked me up because that is what My husband Eric is called some times "E"

People seeing ‘E’ turn enraged

Wow what a busy weekend! Work is getting crazier by the minute. More crap to put up with. I am trying to keep a positive attitued about it, but it just want happen. I want to throw a 2 year old tantrum last night, but refrained.

Must go to drum lesson then acting class tonight. It should be a good time.

I have been trying tackle the treadmill 3 times a week to keep myself maintaining. I stay hungry a lot more, but am still trying to eat the same. Headed now to exercise away.

Friday, August 19, 2005

good day, good night

I had a good day today. I talked with a long lost friend. My friend Kim Carrol Gray. We haven't spoken in 10 years. She saw me at work and I got her number and called her. It was nice talking with her. We are going to get together for lunch on Monday. It should be fun.

Eric and I talked about me quiting work and pursuing my acting thing. I struggle to do that because we are still working to get out of debt. We will see what happens with that.

Thursday, August 18, 2005


I am off today and tomorrow, how wonderful it will be. yeah. I work the weekend and I am not looking foward to it. I am trying not to think about it. Work has been horrible the last couple of weeks due to back to school.

Today, I am going to go run on the treadmill, then come home clean house and watch a movie probably. Then work on some of the scripts that I have. Spend some time with the family. Especially, I want to spend some time with Eric because I haven't seen him much in the last 2 days going on 3. It will be fun day.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

acting class

Just got home from my oasis. (acting class). I love it. It is awesome. We have a great time. Tonigh we were all auditoning for a movie that is to be made in California. It is great experience thanks to our wonderful teacher. His produciton company will be putting this movie on. It should be cool to see if any of us get a part in this movie, and if we don't it was cool to work the audition thing for me. At this moment, I had a great time. That is what you live for moment to moment.


Monday, August 15, 2005


No that is not a misspelling. I watched Donnie Brasco yesterday and I love that from the movie. It is a word that has multiple meanings. so forget about it alright.

Work freaking sucked tonight. I got off at 12:15. Crazy. People are more nuts at back to school than they are at Christmas. Freaking nut cases that come up with the school supply list. I am just thankful that I homeschool and don't have to do all of that crap. baby wipes for an 8th grader. wt.

I will be off tomorrow. I have a busy day planned though meeting in the morning at 10:00.

then back home to clean house, cook dinner, and iron clothes for tomorrow night. take heidi to drum lessons, get my hair done for the audition, then go to acitng class. Auditions tommorow for the film in California. keep your fingers crossed that I will break a leg.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Early reflections

I am up early this morning for no apparent reason. I just am.

I have got to stop eating so much. I have been eating to many points (weight watchers).

I haven't really gained weight. I flucuate here and there. Up and down. I just have to start on the losing track again. I need to lose about 10 more pounds.

I must stay in good health. I must. I just read an intresting article on alzheimer's disease. They say that dieabetes and high insulin levels are an attributer and genetics. My grandmother had it. It is one way I don't want to go out that is for sure.

So for me I am going to get back on board the weight loss train. hee hee.

Acting stuff is going well still. Class was fun the other night. Tuesday brings another audition. This is such great experience for me if nothing else.

WEll I am off to read some blogs and maybe back to bed for 1 hour or so.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

acting update

Things are pretty well for me. I have got to get back into the swing of posting everyday or at least every other.

Acting wise, I have more work than I have in a long time. Meaning. I am preparing for several auditons, and working on a skit at church. I am have so much fun. Plus, I have material to work on for my class. It is all to much fun. I didn't get the part for one of the things I auditoned for, but it was a great experience for me to actually experience a true film audition.

Work on the other hand is a little stressful at the moment. I hate back to school worse than Christmas. ARGH. I guess to be on the thankful side of things at least their is a demand for school supplies so that I can keep my job.

I have class tonight so I must go rehearse.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Charlie and the chocolate factory was

excellent. I had to think about it for a day before I could actually say how I felt. Johnny Depp is just brillant. He is as real as it gets. The guy that plays charlie is very believable as well. It was the weirdest movie I have ever watched. Well there was Fight Club.

I heard today that I didn't get the part in the b-town movie, but that one of my friends did. I was cool with that. She is so deserving and a great actress. I am very excited for her. I am not just saying that.

Still rehearsing for the california movie auditon. It will be videod in Huntsville. It is pretty fun. Hopefully, if I am not cast for the roll that I am auditioning for, that I will be cast at least for an extra. We will see.

I love my new take on life. Be honest, be truthful and don't let anyone get you down.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

What's it like, Neverland?

One day I'll take you there

From Finding Neverland

Monday, August 01, 2005

I got scripts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have 4 scripts I am working on. It is crazy for sure. I have 2 auditons coming up. I love it. I am pumped about all of this.

Good b'day for me. worked, cooked,swam, grocery shopped, saw my granny. In reverse order, hee hee. The work part wasn' t so fun, but whose work is, unless you are a movie star. hee hee. Oh well, Life goes on.