Monday, December 19, 2005

me experiencing the dangers of snow on the way to the blue ridge mountains. Posted by Picasa
me riding in the blue ridge mountains Posted by Picasa
beautiful waterfall from tellico in NC. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Acting Class and such

Well went back to class last night. I say went back because I missed the whole month of November. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed going. My teacher said I did good with my activity lesson. He also said that I need to work on being specific. Which I do. We did dirty santa and that was fun. Afterwards, we went to applebees's. That is Kathy and I did and chatted. I love that woman. She is an amazing person and friend.

Getting ready to go on our NC trip. That will be fun. I just hope that it doesn't snow until we get there and that it melts before we head home. Look for photos later.

Busy time for me right now. Lots of things going on. I want probalbly post until next week due to our trip.

Peace

Monday, December 12, 2005

Our new addition Maggie. She is a 10 week old beagle Posted by Picasa
This is my screensaver. My 10 year old daughter took this photo at the local wilderness area. Posted by Picasa

Busy, Busy, The holidays are here !!!!!!!

Well, the holidays are here in full swing. Craziness going on in retail during the holidays. People are so funny. I am going to be working Christmas eve. That will be fun. I will have to work from 7 till 5 probably. That will be fun times.At least I get to be off on Christmas Day and New years weekend.

We will be going out of town this weekend to N. C. to visit with Eric's dad and step mother. We are going to a resort. Fontana Damn village resort. It will be very outdoors type stuff. Hopefully we will see a little snow. Just a little though.

We have been getting used to our little puppy dog. She is a mess. The potty thing is working well. She is somewhat house broken. She has started going to the door sometimes when she has to go. If we can just get over the biting stage. I will post a photo soon. Mia is adjusting to her. She hates her and that is it. lol. Mia is our pug. So now we have a beagle and a pug.

Well that is an update and now it is off to bed.

later

Monday, November 21, 2005

The notebook

I just finished watching the notebook. It was a great movie. I cried like a baby.

From an acting note. I thought that acting in this was brillant. I thought the two younger characters did a marvelous job not to mention that Noah is hot. lol All around a geat movie.


Going to see Harry Potter tomorrow. I can't wait. The girls are so excited. They are so into HP. busy rest of the week actually.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

take 1

Holly's commercial went great. We had a blast doing it. The more I am around that kind of thing, the more I realize that is what I want to do.

Harry Potter comes out this weekend, we are looking foward to it. We are going back and watching all the other movies this week and we will go see the new one hopefully this weekend sometime.

looking fowar to a great week end. Roll tide.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I am going to try to do this again

It has been awhile, sorry to anybody if they really do read this. I have been out of the blogging loop. I have plenty of excuses, but I will spare those for another post of whining later.

To update, been busy. Swimming, drumming, working, teaching.

Thinking a lot lately about many things. God has been revealing a lot of things to me in my life. who knows maybe he never stopped, I just wasn't paying attention.

Been doing a lot fo filming stuff. I participated in 48 hour film competition. That was fun stuff. My scene that I was in ended up getting cut,due to mic stand in the shot and other tech stuff. I helped write and crew the shoot. I learned a lot. I am working on my crew resume so that I can participate in that manner more. I got to do the clapboard and say scene 1 take 1. Fun Fun fun.

I have been doing a good deal of writing also. I am working on another short for my acitng class. I am helping write and will help crew that and maybe be in it. Also, I did a skit at church and am currently working on some film stuff there. Maybe one day, I can earn a living doing this. If not, I will work for food. lol. I would honestly do this for nothing for the rest of my life, I love film, theatre and such like.

Holly, my oldest will be getting in the film thing. She will be doing a commercial for a local tv station tomorrow or I should say todya. I am so excited for her. We have a little sister envy going on, but good lessons can be learned. I hope all goes well.

I missed my acting class all month due to conflicts in schedule. I really miss it to. Hopefully, December will be back to normal. we are keeping our fingers crossed.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

temptation

I read this on upmost for his highest website.


We have the idea that we ought to shield ourselves from some of the things God brings around us. May it never be! It is God who engineers our circumstances, and whatever they may be we must see that we face them while continually abiding with Him in His temptations

i wonder am I overcoming the temptations God has set before me? I am going to reflect on this.

Maybe it just the full moon!!!!!!!!!!

Reading my friends blog makes me think something is up and then I remembered that it was a full moon tonight. Well, maybe that is what it was, but if not, I send love and peace to everyone of them.

My thoughts are on direction for me and my family. I know we desire to be healthy, and debt free, but we stuggle with this constantly. I can blame it on how I was raised or how I was treated, but the bottom line is blame gets you no where. Action gets you where you need to go.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I need a voodoo doll quick

It is so frustrating to me that people want do what they are supposed to. Then when you try to communicate to them that they need to _________________. They get freakin defensive and aren't grown up enough to handle someone get in there face and call them out. Especially when they know that person is only trying to help them reach certain goals they are trying to reach. It is just so frustrating to me. Why can't people be mature enough to except that they are not strong enough to handle certain things and need help. We all need help in our lives. That is why we are here to help each other. ARGHHHHHH

It has been a tiring weekend for me. I am so tired at this very moment that I can't hardly move. Now I have get up from here and clean up my house. (wash dishes, clothes, pick up stuff out of the floor, mostly dirty laundry.) I work 9-7 every other saturday and it plum wears me out.

Enough whining. I should be thankful that I have dishes and clothes to wash and a family to pick up after. Oh well, must be off to work.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

It crazy to learn everything you already knew is right!!!

Through all of the religious struggle that I have been through. I came to the conclusion by the voice of God's holy spirit that the stuff that I truly knew is right. When I mean truly knew, I mean those heart felt things you know are of God and are true. We know you should not kill, we know you should not commit adultery. We know we are to trust God. Many things we know, but it is nice that God reminds us of what we already think we know. We may have it stored in the back of our brain from where a sermon was preached, but to really know something in my book is making it second nature. Making it an impulse. That is what I want to do in my life, to make my walk with God an impulse. Not in a fake way, but truthfully and impulse. Just as someone reaches out to shake my hand and I shake their hand is natural so should my daily impulses be. These are my daily impulses

love;
joy;
peace;
patience;
kindness;
goodness;
faithfulness;
gentleness;
self-control

Oh to have these daily impulse every day.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

What a crazy weekend and week!!!!!!!

I am so devastated by the whole weather thing. I am to the point that I can't even watch the news anymore. I get so depressed and I start crying every time I sit down and watch the news. Seriously I do. I feeling very moved. I even said out loud today that I was going to get in my car and drive down there an pick up all of those little kids and babies that are without water and get them some. For me I feel for the kids the most. They had no choice to stay or go. They live with their parents choices. How sad that they have no water, food or toys to play with.

Heidi has been watching the news with me and she was moved to do something. She wanted to go tell the people down their that God loves them when she got older. I motivated her to do something to show the people God's love. With a little help from me, she has decided to take a couple of gallon jars to school and collect money from all of her schoolmates and donate the money to some fund to help the hurricane victims. All of this was very moving to me, but I was really moved when she brought her last weeks allowance and put it in the jar. How sweet is that.

A friend of mine who is not very wealthy at all has had 5 family members move in with him for who knows how long. They are from slidell pretty much where the hurricane came in or where the surge hit really big. I really feel for him and have decided to try to raise a little money from friends to help out with his grocery bill. That is tough. Here you are trying to make ends meet working hard and then you get 5 more attachments. That is just hard. Hopefully, I will be able to help him out a little myself.

We all definitely have something to be thankful for that is for sure.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Slow down you crazy childYou're so ambitious for a juvenileBut then if you're so smart tell me whyYou are still so afraid? Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?You better cool it off before you burn it outYou got so much to do and onlySo many hours in a day But you know that when the truth is toldThat you can get what you wantOr you an just get oldYou're gonna kick off before you even get halfway throughWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you're doing fineYou can't be everything you want to beBefore your timeAlthough it's so romantic on the borderline tonightToo bad but it's the life you leadYou're so ahead of yourselfThat you forgot what you needThough you can see when you're wrong But you know you can't always see when you're rightYou got your passion you got your prideBut don't you know only fools are satisfied?Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come trueWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you Slow down you crazy childTake the phone off the hookAnd disappeaar for a whileIt's alright you can afford to lose a day or twoWhen will you realizeVienna waits for you. Vienna. Billy Joel lyrics awesome song.


I watched 13 going on 30 today. Great movie for me. I always do feel like I am 35 going on 13. There is a little kid in all of us. We just have to find it and hold on to it and never let it go.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

this is me now Posted by Picasa
This was me in April 2003. Wow Posted by Picasa

I have been thinking

Ever since the other night, I have been thinking a lot about what was said and how it relates to my life. Referring to my acting class. It is pretty amazing to me that sometimes we just don't even understand our own selves. We have an idea of who we are, but when it comes out in the wash, we are not that person. Bizarre to me. As I sat and watched my audition tape, I thought I knew what I saw in the mirror everyday. On film I was totally not what I expected. I felt pretty for the first time in my life. Glamorous. I don't mean to sound vain or conceited, but I am 30 something and I have never felt glamorous in my life until this week. I don't think that I am a dog or anything, but just average looking. Plain and simple. Low maintence whatever. I am not all what I think that I am on the inside either. I am selfish, ego maniac, who thinks everything should be about me. I draw attention to myself on pupose. I direct the conversation to include me by telling relational stories so that I feel like I belong. That is my destination in life I think. To belong, to identify. For once, I am trying not to even care what anyone thinks about me. I am trying to be and say how I feel and not worry about the outcome of others. If they choose to get offended or mad or hurt, that is their business. I just want to be me. I probably want fulfill what I just said because I do care what you think. I do want people to like me. I bring crudeness on myself most of the time. Short jokes, dumb jokes, whatever is the joke of choice. I play into it, not on purpose mind you. I just say what I think which most don't to avoid looking stupid. I just say it without thinking and fall into the trap of being a joke. Not taken seriously.

My next thought is why do I judge people for the things they say. Oh he is smart, oh she is such an idiot, oh that is a valid point she made etc. Why can't I just sit and listen and not be judgmental? Why can't I be excepting of other people? Why do I always think that person is not cool. That person is an idiot. Where is the grace?

Enough thought.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I am going to disneyworld

Well, it is official we (my family extened included) are going to disney world in February. I made reservations today. mom, dad, bridgett, rod, hannah allie, eric holly, heidi and me will head off into the sunset to see the one and only mickey mouse request of the grandparents . The begged and pleaded for our munchkins to go so we are going.

Acting class was so different last night. Everyone was really tired and we were down in numbers. We were going to do our scences, but we had a great discussion which was very profitable and then we watched our audition tape. It was hard to believe that it was actually me on the screen. All the work that I put into the auditon really paid off. I was pleased. It is really important to live moment by moment and not let things around you bring you down. Have joy where you are even at office depot I need that. I have got to find that happy place there. I have got to find a place at work that I can go to and be able to leave the spinning that goes on there.


Life is great. for me.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My husband should not enrage people!!!!

Not to take away from the story in the paper, but this was the title on the Decatur Daily on line. It cracked me up because that is what My husband Eric is called some times "E"

People seeing ‘E’ turn enraged http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/index.shtml


Wow what a busy weekend! Work is getting crazier by the minute. More crap to put up with. I am trying to keep a positive attitued about it, but it just want happen. I want to throw a 2 year old tantrum last night, but refrained.

Must go to drum lesson then acting class tonight. It should be a good time.


I have been trying tackle the treadmill 3 times a week to keep myself maintaining. I stay hungry a lot more, but am still trying to eat the same. Headed now to exercise away.

Friday, August 19, 2005

good day, good night

I had a good day today. I talked with a long lost friend. My friend Kim Carrol Gray. We haven't spoken in 10 years. She saw me at work and I got her number and called her. It was nice talking with her. We are going to get together for lunch on Monday. It should be fun.

Eric and I talked about me quiting work and pursuing my acting thing. I struggle to do that because we are still working to get out of debt. We will see what happens with that.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

OFF

I am off today and tomorrow, how wonderful it will be. yeah. I work the weekend and I am not looking foward to it. I am trying not to think about it. Work has been horrible the last couple of weeks due to back to school.

Today, I am going to go run on the treadmill, then come home clean house and watch a movie probably. Then work on some of the scripts that I have. Spend some time with the family. Especially, I want to spend some time with Eric because I haven't seen him much in the last 2 days going on 3. It will be fun day.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

acting class

Just got home from my oasis. (acting class). I love it. It is awesome. We have a great time. Tonigh we were all auditoning for a movie that is to be made in California. It is great experience thanks to our wonderful teacher. His produciton company will be putting this movie on. It should be cool to see if any of us get a part in this movie, and if we don't it was cool to work the audition thing for me. At this moment, I had a great time. That is what you live for moment to moment.


Furgetaboutit

Monday, August 15, 2005

furgeitaboutit

No that is not a misspelling. I watched Donnie Brasco yesterday and I love that from the movie. It is a word that has multiple meanings. so forget about it alright.

Work freaking sucked tonight. I got off at 12:15. Crazy. People are more nuts at back to school than they are at Christmas. Freaking nut cases that come up with the school supply list. I am just thankful that I homeschool and don't have to do all of that crap. baby wipes for an 8th grader. wt.


I will be off tomorrow. I have a busy day planned though meeting in the morning at 10:00.

then back home to clean house, cook dinner, and iron clothes for tomorrow night. take heidi to drum lessons, get my hair done for the audition, then go to acitng class. Auditions tommorow for the film in California. keep your fingers crossed that I will break a leg.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Early reflections

I am up early this morning for no apparent reason. I just am.

I have got to stop eating so much. I have been eating to many points (weight watchers).

I haven't really gained weight. I flucuate here and there. Up and down. I just have to start on the losing track again. I need to lose about 10 more pounds.

I must stay in good health. I must. I just read an intresting article on alzheimer's disease. They say that dieabetes and high insulin levels are an attributer and genetics. My grandmother had it. It is one way I don't want to go out that is for sure.

So for me I am going to get back on board the weight loss train. hee hee.

Acting stuff is going well still. Class was fun the other night. Tuesday brings another audition. This is such great experience for me if nothing else.

WEll I am off to read some blogs and maybe back to bed for 1 hour or so.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

acting update

Things are pretty well for me. I have got to get back into the swing of posting everyday or at least every other.

Acting wise, I have more work than I have in a long time. Meaning. I am preparing for several auditons, and working on a skit at church. I am have so much fun. Plus, I have material to work on for my class. It is all to much fun. I didn't get the part for one of the things I auditoned for, but it was a great experience for me to actually experience a true film audition.

Work on the other hand is a little stressful at the moment. I hate back to school worse than Christmas. ARGH. I guess to be on the thankful side of things at least their is a demand for school supplies so that I can keep my job.

I have class tonight so I must go rehearse.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Charlie and the chocolate factory was

excellent. I had to think about it for a day before I could actually say how I felt. Johnny Depp is just brillant. He is as real as it gets. The guy that plays charlie is very believable as well. It was the weirdest movie I have ever watched. Well there was Fight Club.


I heard today that I didn't get the part in the b-town movie, but that one of my friends did. I was cool with that. She is so deserving and a great actress. I am very excited for her. I am not just saying that.


Still rehearsing for the california movie auditon. It will be videod in Huntsville. It is pretty fun. Hopefully, if I am not cast for the roll that I am auditioning for, that I will be cast at least for an extra. We will see.


I love my new take on life. Be honest, be truthful and don't let anyone get you down.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

What's it like, Neverland?

One day I'll take you there


From Finding Neverland

Monday, August 01, 2005

I got scripts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have 4 scripts I am working on. It is crazy for sure. I have 2 auditons coming up. I love it. I am pumped about all of this.

Good b'day for me. worked, cooked,swam, grocery shopped, saw my granny. In reverse order, hee hee. The work part wasn' t so fun, but whose work is, unless you are a movie star. hee hee. Oh well, Life goes on.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

please don't make me eat anymore. please please i beg you

That is the way I feel for sure. I feel like i way 1 ton.

It was a great weekend. Eric took off Friday to spend the day with me for my birthday. He is so sweet. He suprised me by scheduling us a 1 hour massage at Decatur Massage Theraphy. Go there you will not be disappointed. Then we did some running around. Then we went to eat at the jazz factory. Very nice dinner, great atmosphere, great live quintet music. After dinner, we headed over the the flying monkey, very artsey warehouse. Their was a classical guitarist and a well renowned percussionist playing some latin music. It was super cool for sure. Then we caught up with Scott, Jeremey, allison, derek, and rob. We headed over to Scott's to hang out and be goofy.

Saturday, we got up and headed out to Huntsville. We ran some errands first, then to humphries for a nice lunch. then to the tatoo convention. (See Eric's blog for his comments) I found it very intresting. There were so many different people there. There were people who didn't know anything about tatoo's to people who were tatoo'd all over. I was amazed at the art and gained a new respect for tatoo artist. Someone came up to me and say I want this on my arm, It would take me a lifetime to draw it. This guy whips it up in like 1 minute. Crazy stuff. Crazy. It was pretty amazing until the wiggles concert let out and parents brought their young children in there with their captian feathersword's sword. Kids were like eeew that is ugly eewww look at her hair that is weird. Just craziness.

One thing that really got to me is how people just get a tatoo for no reason. One lady goes up to this guy who is like Johnny Depp of the tatoo world and says, I had a hankering to get a tatoo and I don't want to spend a lot, I want something small right here and proceeds to show her left boob (no nipple). the artist said well what do you want to get their and how big do you want it? she goes I don't know what do you think? he quotes her and she walks away. Crazy. If I was going to get something inked on my body. I would have to have more than a hankoring. If I am going to carry this ink around with me until the day I die, it will be well thought out and I will not get some stupid meaningless tatoo. enough said. It was a cool refreshing artsey weekend needless to say.

After that, we headed to best buy to look at some stuff. Then to mcallistar's to get tea and eat cheesecake. It was great, until we started to leave and the bottom fell out. It rained and rained and rained and finally we said screw it lets go. we ran to the car and headed to meet up with scott, allison, jeremey, and derek. after a while we all went to eat and then headed to scott's to hang. e and I came home and headed to bed.

The girls came home and then it was to church to see dave get his head shaved my high priest eric. then again to mavis for another birthday feast. After that came home took a nap. The girls and eric woke me up to give me another gift from them. Mom and dad came by and brought me money and the girls had mom buy me a candle smells good.

My sister wanted to take me to olive garden for my birthday, I told her I didn't want to go. I can't believe I used to eat like this all of the time. My god no wonder i felt like crap all of the time. I dont' know what we will do instead.

Church was good this morning. I enjoyed the worship. It sounded wonderful with the keys up there.

Tomrrow I will wake up and will have spent 34 full year and start 35. All I can say is that if the next 35 years are as good as the past 35, I can't wait for the ride especially if eric is by my side.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Another year

Almost another year older. Monday I will be 35. It sound crazy even saying that because I still feel 8 or something. I had a conversation with a friend of mine and we both agreed that we are still and will always be young.

Good new is, I have 2 auditions coming up. One movie is going to be filmed in Birmingham. The other will be filmed in California. I am trying not to get hung up on landing the role and focus on prepartion for the audition. This will be my first real movie audition. The one for B-town will be on Tuesday. The other will be in a couple of weeks. I just want to have a good time doing my audition that way if I don't get the part, I still had fun. I don't want to tense up and get all freaky on myself about it. I am constantly trying to kill the competive spirit within. heee heee . All those sports I played in school.

Hopefully, blogging will become a regular thing for me soon. With school starting back and all of that. We will not actually start back until September 6 I think it is. Oh the benifit of homeschooling. We may start a week early I haven't decided yet.


My nieces will start 3k this year. I can't believe they are that big.

I took Holly and Heidi shopping for school clothes this week. Scored some great deals at Dillards. Got like 20 pieces of clothing for under $200 dollars. That is crazy for quality clothing.


Eric already gave me the best birthday present ever. He took today off to spend it with me. He has planned out the day for my birthday. Fun times WILL be had. The kids are at the lake all weekend. They will come home Sunday morning. I don't have to work until Monday night. Life is grand. Well must get on to the celebrating.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

busy at work

It has been a past couple of busy days. Work is crazy with all the school shopping and no regular cashiers scheduled, so guess who the cashier is. I look foward to Tuesday. Got to practice. cooking dinner and going to watch once upon a time in mexico.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Back in the saddle, hopefully.

After much swimming, we are done with summer swim. It was fun, but busy. I don't know I love all that mommy stuff.

My sister in law just left and headed back to California. She seems to be happier, now she is there and doing law school. I am happy for her.

I have been getting some bites on my acting stuff. Hopefully I will be hearing to do some screen test in a couple of shorts pretty soon.

The kids and i have been doing the library thing lately. The summer reading program. Who did that when they where little. If you want a childhood memory, dial a story 256-350-2011.

Acting class is saving me a bunch of money in theraphy. hee hee.

I am very happy for my hubby as well, he is officially in Nail. That is a band. Good for him. I am very happy about that. He deserves something good to happen to him. His life has not been the easiest and Good things need to be coming around for him.


What else, Gosh so much so little time to write. We have swim at 9 in the morning. Unlike Eric, I will be glad when it goes back to the afternoon.

Well that is all I can think of must go to bed.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Thoughts

We as Christians are feeding the world the wrong message. We tell them that if they get saved it will all be better. I heard someone say this week. That when you except Christ you get fiery furnaces, lions dens, time in the dessert. Yes there are those sweet moments, but their are the sour one to.

I am reminded of an article that I received in one of my wedding gifts. It discussed mountaintop experiences. How we must push on in difficult times because going up the mountain is difficult, but we can't quit because the mountain peak may just be a couple more steps away.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Fun Plans for the 4th!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have great fun planned for the 4th of July. Eric and I will head out in the morning to Georgia for wilderness camping experiment. It will be good to spend some time with him for a couple of days. We will come back saturday evening and head to the lake for a couple of more days of relaxing vacation. I am off work for like 6 days. Wow so cool. It will be fun. I have so much to do today. Clean house, pack for the kids, pack for me, give dog a bath, take dog to mavis. WE have swim meet tonight. so that will take half of the day. However, I am enjoying the swim team for the most part. Holly is improving so much and she is loving it to.


Happy 4th to all who celebrate it.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Help on the way

I am thankful that we may have some finiancial light at the end of the tunnel.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Roller Coaster Rides are not fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is the kind of day I had. A roller coaster ride of a day. I started out with a big drop off when I got up late. Then I headed to meet my family at church. That was pretty exciting and fun then another drop and upside down loop, I went to work. That was pretty uneventful. Then headed home to try to just relax and watch tv. Eric worked on Financial things today. That is never a good day. Our finaciaces pretty much suck as everyone we know knows. One day, I know we want have to worry about any of that. One day, we will be debt free. It seems that we could be having the greatest day of anyone and money conversations pretty much wreck the picture. I guess no one deserves a perfect life. If it were not for finincail woes, my life would be perfect.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

update

Party was fun. We had plenty of food and fun. I just love my acting buddies. They are just a blast to be around. Our fearless leader didn't make it, and he was missed. They all are headed to a wedding today. I must work at the OD. I hate saturdays becasue it is a 11 hour shift with one lunch break. It is pretty exhausting. Then I have to work on sunday 12-6:30 no lunch break. That shift would not be so bad, but I get so tired from the day before. I have got to stop being so dang negative about work. I have to find my happy place there and relax. I must be there so, I must be happy.

I will post pictures of my party later.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Partay

That is what we are going to do tonight.

Spent the afternoon at Smith Lake. I am now getting ready to go to a going away party.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Anxiety attacks, cheesecake, and peanut butter cookies

I realized today that the physical problems that I have been having lately, (dizzeness, tightness of muscles, feeling like that I am going to pass out) is all due to anxiety. I thought all lot of things may be causing my problems. I have realized that I let small things just get to me without realizing it until it is to late. I start feeling week, my muscle tighten, and I arrive in high strung mode. I am turning into my mother. I guess it is my destiny. My grandmother did this, my mom does this, so does my sister and now me. I don't know if it is personality, insanity or what.

I baked peanut butter cookies and I am now baking a cheesecake. I love cooking. I wished I had time to do more of it. It is fun. I made the cookies for the girls they needed a snack. I am making the cheesecake for a party that I am going to tomorrow night. (Thanks kim for letting me borrow your mixer. ) My friend from my class are getting together to say goodbye to 3 of our students that are headed to New York to pursue their acting careers. The rest of us are so jealous that we are not going with them. lol. Maybe I will make it to New York before I die.

I have to work this weekend. Makes for a long weekend.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I'm published

I'm published. Here is an article that I wrote to the Decatur Daily regarding the swim team.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Class tonight

Just got in from acting class. It was a blast again tonight. We filmed some stuff. It was very exciting. It will be neat to see if anything comes from the filming. We had a new guy in our class tonight. He and his wife were there. They are very nice people. We seem to have a lot in common with them. (Eric and I). Going to class for me is like walking barefoot in a beautiful grassy field. So refreshing. I am so tired right now, but so giddy due to just getting out of class. I am glad that I have found this group of people that are honest and truthfuly about themselves and you can see it and feel by being around them. I have truly met friends.

Cool stuff

Cool things continue to happen to me concerning acting stuff. I maybe getting a call soon to do a screen test for a local b movie. This will provide great experience for me. I real excited about that.

I am currently waiting on my friend Jim toget here so we can over some stuff we will be filming in acting class tonight. No swim meet, so I actually get to go tonight. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the swim meets, but I am excited over the fact that there is not one. lol. So anyway cool stuff going on.

Yesterday, we go to swim lessons and there were a tremendous amount of bugs in the pool that should have been cleaned out before practice, but due to the sad sad city we live in, the lady at the pool pawned it off on the coaches. Saying it was there responsibiblity to clean the pool.

So I wrote the parks and rec pres. and the decatur daily editoral section of the paper with my complaint on how the swim team program in decatur is being neglected. Not just over bug mind you, but the fact that they don' t have a permanent place to practice year round. They hop from pool to pool to pool. aquadome in the winter, carrie matthews in the summer. I figured yesterday that I should do something while I was still frustrated. I knew that I wouldn't if I didn't. lol.


Drum lesson again today. Heidi drum teacher seems to be pleased with her progress. I am definitely excited over what she is doing. She is a very talented little girl. I love both my kids for their indivuality that is for sure. They are so different from each other. Truly amazing.

That is my update, morgan out.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Holly doing the breaststroke. Posted by Hello
Holly is in the middle warming up. Posted by Hello
Heidi really getting serious!!!!  Posted by Hello
Heidi 1st official photo shoot. hee hee. Posted by Hello

I'm Back!!!!!!!

I know that so many people will be happy to know. I know that so many people have missed reading my exciting wonderful life story. hee hee.

We have been extremely busy, thus we all are exhausted. I never thought that swimming could be so demanding. Between swimming, work, and normal ordinary stuff, like house work, I have been extremely busy.

I am very proud of Holly she is so cute swimming. Just precious. She is improving her times and legally finishing races, that is pretty good for a first year swimmer. She has like 14 ribbons so far and many more will come for sure.

Heidi is doing great on her drums. Her teacher says that she is knocking her book out. He gets so tickled at her she wants to play all these crazy beats and stuff. She is so funny, I will ask her were she got the beat from and she will say it came from out of my head. I wondered many times what was going on up in there. lol.

I am a very proud momma that is for sure.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

back blogging at the end of the week

I will update at the end of the week. We will have internet at the end of week.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Spring is a busy time!

Got a lot going on lately. Haven't took time to really journal anything here. Finally got a part for my acting class skit night. It is a great part. I just hope I do well at it.

School work will hopefully be finished soon. Then I have to average grades and turn in end of the year stuff. We will start swimming pretty much 5 days a week starting in June. Still have Heidi's drum lesson. It will be a busy time for us for sure.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

It was a happy mother's day!!!!

Woke up this morning to a crying child. My little one didn't feel well. I had to call and make arrangements for someone to teach my sunday school class. As the day progressed, she got better. By the time hubby got home, she felt well enough to go out. So we headed for a picnic lunch in pop oliver park. Then, we headed to grocery store to get stuff to make sundae's. It was a fun time. We sat in the backyard eating ice cream together and making bracelts. Holly and Heidi have started making jewlery. They have decided to call it something like beads baby. Holly has contracted Heidi to work for her. LOL. Heidi informed me that holly was a good boss because she allowed her to quit anytime she wanted to. Heidi got really tired after I gave her some medicine. I hope she will feel better tomorrow. When she doesn't eat, I know she is sick. Busy day tomorrow. I am about to make a list so I can sleep without trying to piece my day together in my head.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

late night relaxing drive into what seems to be heaven!!!!

After work i drove to smith lake to spend the night last night. It was wonderful peaceful drive and when I reached the destination, I get out of the car and it was gorgeous simply breath taking. I get up this morning get clean, walk outside and again simply beautiful. Tranquil it is. I would live there if there was a remote possiblity are somewhere out like that. I can't imagine waking up everyday to that wow. I went there for a family gathering on my dad's side. Saw some people who were very nice about my weight loss and it was good to see them and reminiss about old times when I was small. I captured memories with these cousins and such that were great ones. Good times were had headed back to house this afternoon as I drove through this one part of the forest, I felt like I really got a glimpse of God's glory. All I can say is amazing.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Afternoon Delight!!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed spending the afternoon with Eric today. It was nice and peaceful. We talked about trying to not let things get to us so much and living without stress. I love days like that when we communicate peacefully and we just enjoy each others company. I wished more people saw that Eric. The world is missing out for sure. He is a pure joy to be around. He is wonderful to be around.

Pama interview went well. Hopefully, there will be work on the way.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Busy, but fun

Got up early this morning and didn't go back to sleep watched a little of the smurfs with Heidi. Did some housework, school work, had a picnic with my nieces and kids. Then, we were off to huntsville to drum lessons. That went well. The guy that is her teacher has a degree in percussion. And he is super nice. Came home and worked in the front flower bed. Now Iam beat and headed to bed.

I am saying a little prayer for my friend stacey. She is due and ready to pop out a baby. I pray that God's timing is now. lol

It was a pretty perfect day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Busy weekend

Had to work the weekend and yesterday. I am off tonight. I have to take Heidi for her first drum lesson today in Huntsville. I hope that goes well. I was supposed to have acting class this evening, but It got changed till tomorrow. I have to work so no acting class this week.

Eric wants me to quit work, but I just don't see how it would be possible at this time. Our budget is finally free enough to pay some things off and I hate to push all of that on him.

I am going to drop off some head shots at a place that I did some work before. Just some updated shots and see about some possible work for this company. Try to get some nailed down dates and take some vacation at work and do some work myself. We will see how that goes. Also, I am trying to put myself with the Pama agency in Huntsville to see if that will generate some work. The way I see it, if I can get at leas 500 dollars a month coming in for acting opps, then I would quit work. We will see how that goes.


Wendy

Friday, April 29, 2005

Holly's science project Posted by Hello
group shot Posted by Hello
Heidi with the clinics instructors. Left to right Neil Flum, Heidi, Thom Hannum. Posted by Hello
Heidi at drum clinic at Austin High School with University of Alabama million dollar percussion section  Posted by Hello

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Acting Class

I just got in from acting class. It was yet another fun night. I was first up tonight. It was needless to say fun stuff. I learned a lot tonight. I learned that anything can happen and you just have to go with the flow of things. It was very fun. Going to class is like going to another world. It is like what they say on the intro to the real world on MTV. It is when everyone stops being nice and gets real or something of that nature. It is just wonderful.

SEE BELOW!!!!!

Jmo's took some pictures of me, they are below, thus see below.

Acting clas tonight. I am excited about that. It is always a good time. All else is well here. Just trying to be myself and be positive, upbeat, and happy. Hopefully rub off on anyone that is around me.

Props again to jmo. You did good.

Peace
Jmo's wonderful work again. Posted by Hello
Jmo's wonderful work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted by Hello

Monday, April 25, 2005

Emotional !!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am having an emotional moment right now. I just talked with a friend of mine that I have been worried about and now I feel better. I am at the brink of tears of relief. I love her dearly and she has been going through a tough time over the past couple of years, but seems to be doing better. I have been worried because she is doing so well, but after speaking with her this evening, I feel that she is going to be alright. I wish you well friend.

On another note, I swung by jmos to sign some paper work and pick up suprisingly some pictures. Thanks again jmo, you are the snizzle. They are wonderful. Big props to him for taking such wonderful photos.

Over all busy, but productive day.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Tiring past 2 days.

We administrated SAT's at our homeschool covering the last 2 days. Myself and other degreed folks voulenteered to give the test. I thought I got tired taking the test, giving is even more punishment. I didn't test Heidi, except at home. I did test Holly to see how well I am teaching her. Heidi is just not ready.

My pictures that Jmo took came out great. I can't wait to see them on paper. Big Kudos to him for doing that for me.


Acting class got canceled last night. My teacher got stuck in California. So, I hung out with Eric at band pratice then we headed over to get the girls. It was a good night.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

weekly recap

Been busy since my last post. I worked all weekend. Got off early Sunday night. So eric and I watched Finding Neverland. He liked it to.

Monday same old same old routine. School, housework, swim team practice, work.

Last night, we headed over to jmo's work and took some photos. He did an awesome job. I didn't realize how tiring all that could be. It takes a lot of work to be a supermodel, I bet.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Finding Neverland Review!!!!!!

This is a wonderful film. I just finished up the DVD. I have always loved the story of Peter Pan. I love anything that has ever been related to it. I guess it is the kid in me. This movie is no exception. I loved it. Wow, I cried like a baby in it. When I heard that they were making this movie, I was a bit unexcited. I was like great another Peter pan movie. What else can they do with this story? Boy, I underestimated the whole idea. You must see this, or you may become a pirate. I wished I could say more, but the way I am feeling cannot be put into words, it can only be felt. SEE THIS DVD!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 15, 2005

Shall we _____________?

You must ask yourself this question in your life at some point.

What provoked this? I just finished viewing the movie shall we dance. Wow, I thought this would be a good movie, but I didn't realize that it would more than just another pretty woman, or runaway bride or maid in manhattan type movie. Meaning this, unrealistic, fairy tale movies that chicks dig. This movie to me provoked thoughts of my reality. I guess that is why it meant so much.

I am much like the wife in this movie for one. We (eric and I ) run a well oiled machine. We have a wonderful life. We are well on our way to living and dying by the American dream. We are happy. I am threatned by anything Eric does without me because I am afraid. Even though he does things without me, I don't like it. Like tonight he is camping without me. It drives me crazy. Does this mean I want him to stop doing those things? No, of course not. I am becoming to realize that there are certain things that he is good at and loves that I can't or don't want to participate in. I love hiking and camping, but not as much as he does. I love music, but I suck at it. I am learning, especially after watching this film, that we need to do things that fufill our lives. It is not that I am not enough for him, but I am not the only thing in his life that makes him happy. Like right now I have no one at home. At first, I was somewhat depressed, but after watching the movie I was watching, I am not. I love movies, theatre, and anything related to that sort of thing.

The commentary or special feature interviews are wonderful to.


I am much like the other character the husband (Richard Gere) because I am at a point that I am ashamed to admit that sometimes, I am not happy. I have a lot. I am blessed. I was born to parents who taught me about God and his son. I have a wonderful hubby, two wonderful daughters, a great house, dog and 2 cars. One should be happy with this right. Every so often, I get unhappy. I believe this is becuase I am at a stand still. I am not experiencing life, God or anything. Life is supposed to be our journey to grow closer to being who we are supposed to be. WE never arrive, until we die. I believe that God gives us desires in our life to make us better people or make us more the person he wants us to be. I try to live a transparent life. I don't have a false relationship with Christ most of the time. Every step I take I try to take it truly with honesty. I want to be me. I am so happy that God can guide me by using any manner of his creating he chooses. Some people can learn things by doing, some by watching, some by hearing. god is the best teacher on the planet.


So, did I gain all this from a movie. I learned bits and pieces on this journey of life.

Robert Frost put it best.



Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

Now I remember one of the reason I got married and had kids!!!!!!

I hate being alone. I have been such since about 5:00 this afternoon. I went to walmart got groceries. Now I am about to watch save the last dance and finding neverland.

Holly is at a sleepover. (Her very first sleepover with other folks beside family. I remember those days fun times.)
Heidi wanted to stay with my sister.
Eric went camping. (I couldn't go since I have to work tomorrow at 8:30.)

So here I sit lonely and alone. It is the weirdiest feeling for real.

Acting class is going wonderfully. I love my class and it is cool to meet new friends. I am learning so much stuff. I am reading 2 books that my acting teacher wanted me to read. I am enjoying them aslo.

My schedule at work is looking better all the time. I work 3 days a week now 5:-9:30 and every other weekend sat. 8:30 - 7:30 and sun 12- 5. Now I will get to come to church every week. Yeah!!!!!!!

Well that is my update. I have got to get started on my movies.


Peace!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

After the 4 mile hike, we took a rest. Posted by Hello
The Sipsey River Posted by Hello
Fat man's squeeze. It was real muddy. WE actually rock climbed on the top of this on the way through the trail. On the way back we went through the squeeze. Posted by Hello
One of many waterfalls on trail 200 in Sipsey Wilderness area. Posted by Hello

wow has it been that long

I keep saying I am going to blog, but I forget to.

A lot has happened since my last entry. We moved some furniture, traveled to pell city, smith lake, We went hiking. I have been working. My hours this week got cut back a little yippee. I am working like 5 -10. instead of 3 - 10. It gives me more home time.


I get to go to acting class this week. It is tonight. That will be fun.

Due to my screwed up scheule I still haven't done the picture thing. ARGH. I have got to make some time to do some photos for sure.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Rain Rain Go Away!!!!

Well got up a little later than normal today. My trip to the woods was postponed since We decided that we needed to work on the flower bed in the back and the front. So yesterday afternoon, I started working on the back flower bed at 1:30 didn't finish up until 6:00. It looks great. I got several more plants into the ground. I was exhausted by the time I went to bed. I didn't get up until 9:00. Woke up with a small headache. I really woke up at 7:30, but laid in bed and dosed in and out of sleep until 9:00 when ERic called me. His voice reminded me that I am not a teenager anymore and that I had responsibilities to take care of. oops. I feel bad for him. He worked in the fron flower bed, but still had to get up at 4:30 this morning. He said he felt good though.

Hopefully, I will get with someone this weekend to shoot some photos of me. I really need to begin working on My portfolio for acting jobs. I have got one company promising to call me soon to do some work, but I need to get them some new photos shot so they know that I look a bit different. Hopefully that will happen.

Eric said something about going to Nashville to REI this weekend. We will see how that goes.

Well must get off of here and do some teaching.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

GLORIOUS OFF DAY

WOOHOO, THANK YOU GOD! It is a beautiful day. I don't have anywhere that I have to be. I get to spend time with the family. We are going to drive down to the covered bridge in Cullman and hike and take some pictures. I want some for my scrapbook of Alabama that I am making. It will be fun and exciting I think. Just being outside this glourious day is good enough for me. Eric had other things I think he wanted to do, but he is going to sacrifice those today and go out with me, God, what a man you have given me. I am the luckiest women in the world.

No acting class this week, my acting teacher is in Italy. He had planned this trip before the pope died and all. I will miss class, but I am kind of glad to have a day off after working 5 days in a row. I know people think I am crazy, but I do more than just work. I homeschool my kids, keep a house. I don't see how women work 40 + hours and run a household craziness. I admire them.

Well, here is to a beautiful day!!!!!

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Back to work today

Well I go back to work today. I enjoyed most of the day yesterday.

I headed to Madison yesterday morning to pick up some books, then it was to target to exchange some clothing my sister in law had bought in palm springs. Then it was back home for lunch, housework and schoolwork. Then it was off to swim class. Swang by and dropped Holly off then went by and saw my sister at school. Then came home and dug up the front flower bed with E and replanted in the back. That was fun. Then we watched tv. Then it was off to bed.

Heidi came and got in bed with us last night due to the horrible storm, thus after that didn't sleep well.

Well, gotta get busy and get school done.

I am in a funk today again got to get out of this funk.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Well, I am suffering from beauty withdrawls. It is already been 3 days back in the saddle and my mind and heart are still in the North Georgia mountains. God I would move there in a heartbeat. I would even love to move out closer to sipsy or closer to monte santo mountain. Just somewhere gloriously connected to nature. I know it is not so, but it seems you are closer to God there. We would probably defile the mountains by adding tv and computers to the mix. Oh well, I will go back to Georgia in a couple of months hopefully to the hot air balloon festival. We will see.

I was off yesterday and today. I have to go back to work tomorrow and it will be like 40 hour work week till I am off again. Even though I don't work full time. It seems I work full time. I look foward to the day when I don't work at all. I think Eric and I are closer when I don't work. Enough whining about that.

No acting class for me this week my teacher had to go to Milano /NY. His Milano trip got cancelled and instead of NYC, he had to go to California. So next week he is going to take the Milano trip and NYC trip so we probably wont meet next week either. We will see. I hate when I don't get to go to class. However, he has asked me to read 2 books so maybe I can get them in before I go back to class again.

I am going to start the 12 week plan over again. I blew it while I was out of town. I have got to decide if I am going to stick to the plan or not. Time will tell.

Well enough from me.
This is what we looked at on the way home. Posted by Hello
This is what we heard at night. Our campsite was right by this. Posted by Hello
Lakeview at the campsite.  Posted by Hello

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Getting Back!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, We are back you can read my hubby's blog if you really want the detailed version of our trip. I am just going to hightlight. It was a great time. The Weather was my favorite part. Friday was one of the best days of my life to date. It seemed everything was in sync. The planents must have been aligned. lol. It was a God day for sure. The hubby was in a great mood. The kids got along. I didn't have to do laundry or dishes. No contraversy over anything. IT was nice. The worst part of the trip was coming home. I didn't want to. lol. It was kind of depressing to me. oh well, yesterday came and here we are.

I have decided to take a different approach with curriculum next year with the girls. I am not sure what it is going to be yet. It will be different though. I don't feel they are getting the full benifit from homeschooling. We could do a lot more I think. So we will.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Acting class and oot

Acting class went well. We had a little party for the teacher. It was nice. It was his birthday. I didn't get to participate in an exercise, but I feel that I am learning a great deal regardless. More than I have ever learned. I was asked to read a couple of books by my teacher. The Meisner approach and The Ferverent Years. I am going to borrow them from a friend, if I can remember to remind her to bring them to me to class. Our class is about to lose 3 members to NYC. They are moving there and so in their honor, we will be putting on a slew of skits that probably don't relate to one another, but it should be entertaining none the less.

OTT means OUT OF TOWN!!! That is where we will be going. I hope it doesn't rain, but if it does, we are used to it. Every time we go camping it rains.I don't know why we expect it to be different this time. Oh well HAPPY BUNNY to everyone!!!!!!!! I hope this Sunday the you find your prize egg or this year. hee hee.

Monday, March 21, 2005

off tomorrow. woohoo!!!!!!!!!!

I know it sounds crazy, but I hate working 4 days in a row. It is a lot to do when you have housework, school work, and whatever else comes my way. I am glad that I wll be off tomorrow. That will be grand. I have acting class tomorrow night. Then I have to work Wednesday and Thursday. Then I will be out of town all weekend.

I have to get some head shots made for sure. That should be intresting.


Well must go chill before bed.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Better Days ahead!!!!!

It seems that is the case for us. We have been working really hard to pay off debt, shed pounds, and plan a camping trip. It all works out. I am pretty excited about all ow what is going on that is for sure. Especially the debt thing. I think that is the best move we have ever made.

I am so proud of my hubby. He is getting raises right and left at work because he works so hard. I am very proud of him.

I started a new 12 week workout program this week. I didn't go full blown with it, but I am very proud of what I did do and I hope this will result in looking good in a swim suit. I have had several people tell me that cocoa butter will rid you of stretch marks. Anybody in the blogging world tried this? I would love some feed back. I am down to 138 now. I started at 185. That is not my heavist weight, but that was pregnancy related so it doesn't count. lol. So if my calculations are right that is a small child or 47 pounds. Amazing. I still can't comprehend it. I just hope to stay that way.

Oh, and we have a camping trip planned for the Helen Georgia. That will be Easter weekend. This will be the first Easter that I have ever not been in a church somewhere, but I can promise you this, I will be able to worship God where I will be. It is a haven there in Helen. It is lovely.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Acting Class

Just got home from acting class. It was pretty fun. We ended at about 10:10, but a couple of old friends wanted me to go to Applebee's with them so I went over and had some water (started a new thing this week Body for Life which equals 80 oz water a day). Probably want be doing that every week for sure. It was nice to do that. I haven't done that in awhile.


Class was great. I got to participate this week actually, I was first up. Did an exercise. I am just amazed how simple things can be wiht acting. It is being open and real. Exposing yourself for who you really are. Onstage is the only place one can actually be themselves. It was a great time.

Off to bed now, I have to get up and go workout in the morning.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Busy, Busy Busy,

That is what today was. I got up around 6. the past 2 nights, I have slept extremely well and awakened early.

Did a little house work here and there, spent some time with e, paid money on Credit Card, got ready for church.

After church, we came home grabbed some lunch and headed over to Holly's b'day party. It was fun, but tiring. We went to Wendy's with Scott afterward and now we are home. I am about to pass out. I think I will power nap for about 15 minutes.

No Word about acting class, I might actually get to go. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Tomorrow, I am going to start Body for LIfe workout. Learn more by clicking below.

http://www.bodyforlife.com/


It basically will be to lose 10 pounds and some inches of fat I haven't rid after 55 pounds have been shed. It is a 12 week program that will put me at the end of May and right in time for seim season. It should be intresting.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

It really hasn't been that long.

I blogged several days ago and I realize now that it didn't go through. Who knows what it was about. It is lost in cyberspace.

The past 2 off days have been glorious, beautiful days. From the sun set last night to the sunset tonight. Heaven has to be close to feeling like today. I wished I lived somewhere like this all the time. Praise God for the beautiful weather.

Enjoyed spending some much needed time with Eric last evening. Props to the mother in law for keeping the kidos. Spent some much needed kid time today. Props to Eric for allowing me to do that today. Getting ready for Holly's 10 year old birthday party tomorrow. Wow. She is growing up. We will be skating away for sure. No boys at the party and no babies was the qualifications for invitation this year. We stretched it a little with my nieces since they are family and with one friend of ours because the chick is so cool and Holly loves her. So it is so girly tomorrow. We are excited. We picked up her zelda gamecube game, the new one, game cube cable and a nice kite from forever flying. It is in the shape of a dragon. Awesome cool stuff. Oh and we picked her up some yugioh figurenes. She is so excited. I am glad that God blessed us to be able to bless her.

Hopefully, I will actuall get to go to acting class this week that will be fun.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Rainy days and monday's always get me down, not really

I just thought that was appropriate today in Alabama it is monday and raining.

busy weekend at work. WE had inventory. It went well we all left work around 6.

I have to work tonight as well. IT should be intresting to see how things went yesterday and see how it will go tonight.

Both kids are not feeling well. They have the sinus junk. I have some allergy issues and Eric has a headache.

I think they are skipping swimming and chess today. They feel gross.

I would love to skip work tonight and go to my acting class. The past few weeeks it has been on Monday night due to the instructors schedule. Oh well.

For some reason lately, my spirtual side as awakened. I feel refreshed and renewed about praising God through music. I have been listening to a lof of praise and worship music and some christian stuff. I try to listen to it on the way to work so that I can go in with a good attitude and not be negative.

I am going to try to catch a nap before work. I took some dimetapp and I am getting a little groggy. I am not going to fool with minor house work. Just some laudry today. Got most everything else done.

off to lalala land.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Testing

I began preparing the girls for there standford 10 test that will occur next month. I am glad I started this early. They really need work on comprehension and several skills that will be included that we have not covered yet. I will over the next couple of months try to prepare them so they will do well on the test. Do I expect them to get every question right, no, but I just want them at least to be on grade level. I worry more about Heidi because she is still not where I would like her to be reading wise. She just doesn't get some sounds. I am going to really try before the end of the year to have her reading very well.

Busy weekend so you may not here from me. We have inventory Sunday so this weekend at work will be busy. If you think of coming in office depot in decatur alabama, don't. Less customers the better. Especially on Sunday. Well I must get to bed we have classes, skate day, work tomorrow. Then I have to be at work saturday at 8:30. I am thankful I have my job it has helped us out tremendously.

If we can get on track with finances, I will be a completley fullfilled person That means that everything will be in sink in my life. smart kids, finincial sound, personally filled and spirtiuall solid. It probably wont happen, but one can dream.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I have been thinking, I know it is scary, but

I began my day today as usual with 1 cup of cherios and 1/2 cup of 2%milk. Got the girls school work started then preceded to clean up our bedroom. I am preparing to have a yard sale so I decided to clean out my closet a little. I came across a lot of sentimental things like cards and pictures. I saw photos of the girls when they were small and it really made me realize how big they are getting. They are beginning to ask more serious questions, and think of more serious things. It is a bitter sweet moment really. You think first that you are proud of what God has helped you raise and then you think they are not even going to think twice about you in a couple of years. As a parent it is your goal to raise self suficient human beings that have good values and morals and will impact the world in some small way, but the selfish side want them to remain in awe of who you are.

I also came across some things I had been given by Eric. It made me realize that we have come a long way together. This year we will be married 12 years. We still love each other. We still want to be around each other and the times we don't, we are ok with that to. We have seperate intrest, but we are intrested in what each other is doing. We have a great friendship/ relationship.

As I waited to pick up my glasses today, I ran across an article about Jamie Lee Curtis in some magazine. It had some pretty good wisdom in it. She said now is not her time. Most people hit a mid life crisis and think that it is there time and the kids are hitting teenage years about the same time. She talked about how it is her children's time to be the star. I really began to think about that in regards to what I want out of life. I have made some sacrifices as a parent in regards to my own personal life. Yeah I wanted to be a mom, wife, etc. I have given up my career to homeschool my own children. I love it though. I wouldn't change a thing. I have had clear direction up until this point. I don't know what we will do next year. I don't know if we will continue to homeschool or not. Time will tell. I have a couple of months to decide. I really want to wait and get there test results back.


Well thus the conclusion of my thoughts. I am pretty happy with the way my life has turned out. I wished we would have been stronger finincial at this point, but you can't have everything.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I can't see I can't see, and yes, I have my eyes open!!!

The girls and I had to go to the eye dr. and experience the dreded dialation along with both girls. I am typing with my eyes closed right now. So if something is majorly fowled up, excuse it. It was sad I had to go to the grocery store afterwards and had to ask old ladies to help me read the calories and fat of of cans. It was pretty humorous actually. The funny part is that I actually drove like this. I think I drove better than normal. lol. All in a day in Wendy's Wacky World.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Busy weekend and most likely a busy week.

We celebrated my husbands birthday all weekend. It was a riot. Eric and I both were recipents of selfless gifts this weekend. Amazing. That is all I can say.

I have a busy week ahead. I work m w f sat. We have inventory Sunday while the stupid store is open. That will be fun. Loads of Fun.

I will start my acting class next week. I am truly excited about that. I never do anything like this. Meaning it is pricey, but I really feel this is what I need to do. I expect this will make me into a better person.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

destiny

do I belive in it? I am not sure, if destiny means things happen a certain way for a certain reason then maybe I do.

Tonight, this woman at work bared her soul to me. I've never met her in my whole life. She talked to me about her son being in Iraq. She was moved to tears. She apoligized for rambling, but I didn't mind. It was amazing. It felt like a God moment. Like it was meant to be. Even at my minial job, I can be used. God ministered to that lady through me. It was so awesome. Thanks, Lord for using a worn out vessel.

In other news, I have been helping the kids with their art fair projects that are due Friday. It is hard not to do them myself, but I must let them do it. I am such a perfectionist. ARGH. I will allow them to do it themselves.

I am off tomorrow. Yeah.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Wow What an amazing experience!!!!!

I am just amazed at the class I just got home from. I sat for 4 hours in a class and it felt like 2 minutes. The teacher is pretty amazing. His name is Frank.He is an italian New Yorker. He is very inspiring. He is a amazing man. He says he is a jerk, but I beg to differ. It was amazing watching this man work. I am looking foward to him peeling the layers off of me from previous acting experience and learning who I am as an actor. Pretty amazing. My new acting teacher is friends with Phil Hoffman.
http://archive.thejujube.com/Themes/philhoffman.html

I told Eric that this guys seems to be the real deal. He seems to be in the know of what is going on. As I have said before, I don't want to be famous. I probably couldn't handle it. I just want to learn and respect the field of acting. I think that Frank will be a good person to pull out the things that I need to let shine as an actress. It should be intresting.

Going to see

I am going to check you the acting class out tonight in Madison. It is by this guy who works or has worked in NY. It should be pretty intresting. I don't know if I will actually take the class, I will know more after all is said and done.

Everything else is looking ok. My JcPenny catalog finally came. I found a comforter in there my mom is going to buy for me just because she wanted to do somethig nice for me. I thought it was very thoughtful of her. My parents always are doing things for the kids which is great, but ever once in awhile it is nice when they do something for me. It makes me feel like a little kid again.


Finanically, I guess everything is as good as it could be. It is very overwhelming sometimes. IT will all work itself out. One of these days we will be debt free. We got approved for our new roof via insurance, we have got to come up with the deductible.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Obsessive, decisions and Expectations

I am such an obsessive person. I run things in the ground. Yes, it is true. I hate that I am this way. being this way many times leads to diasappointment and chest pain. Arggh. I got obsessive about my weight and lost 55 pounds. I still am obsessed with that. Even though I have started eating more. I have decided to say when I start to eat something I shouldn't. Go ahead you just want to be fat. Go ahead. Eat it. Same thing with money I want to spend. Go ahead be in debt for the rest of your life. Go ahead. Is it so wrong that I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, a good grandaughter, skinny, debt free and be an actress. (not famous really, but just do theatre and film for the rest of my life and get paid for it. ) Is that to much to ask? Who knows? I say I want these things, but I exercised 1 this week, I didn't clean the house as good as I could, I didn't spend as much time with my family as I should, I didn't dote on my husband and tell him how wonderful he is all week. I am fooling myself. I fold under pressure. I am choosing my on fate. I must decide what I want and let noone or anything stand in my way.


Surgery Update (guys might want to skip this part)


I got an all clear from the dr. this week. Seems like my period will be absent for several years anyway. Then we will just have to have the plumbing taken out.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Acting Class

There is an acting class in Huntsville taught by this guy from New York. I may go visit it on my next Tuesday off to check it out. A couple of my friends go and they love it. I can't go on a regular basis so I may see if I can go 1 a month or something. It should be fun regardless to check it out and see my friends I have not seen in awhile.


In my acting book, I am learning that studying the posture of gymnast and dancers will help one learn to carry themselves on stage better.

I have nothing to hide.

I was thinking of this yesterday. Some people are very complex people. They are like the character of Shrek or an onion, they have layers. Some of the layers are open and some of them are locked for no one to see. I am trying to really put deep thought into this because I desire to understand a person like this. I am sure most of it stems from their past. I assume this because I am a person that doesn't have locked layers.

(I don't think I do anyway. I am pretty transparent and have been all my life. You can ask my hubby if I have changed very much, he will tell you no. The reason I know this is because he was asked recently. And my friend Scott said I am like a little girl.)

Anyway, my past is not dark, or filled with regrets. Maybe that is why it is open to the naked eye. It is hard for anyone to say that they wouldn't change one thing about their life. Even the few times that I had hardship enter my life, I truly can say that I appreciate the experience.

So how do I understand a person so complex with locked layers? I don't know. When I don't understand a person, I just try to except them and love them for who they are. I guess that is all one can do.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Cold morning, acting update

It was cold this morning. I didn't want to get out of bed for sure. Burr.


Last night I was very tired when I got home, but I was wound up from work. I worked my butt off last night. Came home and decided to stay up and read some of my acting books that I am reading. The book is about building a character from ground up. It is pretty inspiring. So after reading I decided to search the web for possible acting opp. I stumbled on to this film sight where it list movies being filmed in Alabama and there is an audition coming up that I think that I am going to try out for. It will probably be an extra or something, but that would be ok with me. I just want the experience. It will be next weekend in Sheffield, Alabama. It is some civil rights movie with Louis Gosset Jr., Naomi Judd, Chris Christophersen etc.


I am a little excited about this.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

What is love?

Unconditional love is Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Just thinking, danger danger!!!!!

What is Christianity? and who am I? I am a seeker for sure. I seek the right path on a daily basis. My background is that I studied the Bible for about 15 years inductively. I read the Bible through many times, I did this study and that study. I gained much knowledge. I sincerly hid God's word in my heart. I allowed God to guide me in the steps I took in my life. A devasting spiritual event happened that I do not intend to write and relive. I still continued to study and seek out God. Then, I came to a spirtual point where I didn't want to study, I didn't want to learn anymore. I just started sorting. I came to a point where I wanted to know what God was saying to me and What man had taught me. (Till this day, I am still sorting.) In all honesty and sincerity, I have truly tried to seek God and allow him to guide me in my life.

Now to the thinking part, recently I have been thinking about why I don't study anymore intensely. I read on occasion, but not on a regular basis. I have no desire to study like I use to. God is still guiding me. I belive that God can use anything he created to speak to me. He reveals himself to me continually in my life. So, while thinking about all of this. I began to think about religon and beliefs, church. I feel so many times as Christians, we lose the realness of who God is. We say we our living out of the box, but we just change boxes. we get a different sized box, we get a new set of rules, we change things up, but still we dont' allow God to work were he wants to. I am not saying that we shouldn't have church services that do this and that. Maybe I think that whatever we do should just be us and not prepackaged. I can only relate to things I understand inside my box. That sickens me. How can I relate to someone who I have nothing in common with. Example., I have a friend who the only thing we have in common is where we work. We don't have similar taste, style or religion. So how do I relate to that person. I be real I think and show that person God's love while at work. I don't have to invite this person to small group or church or anything. I just show her God' s lvoe at work. That is being real. I have no desire to hang out with this person, in all honesty. I don't really care to be around her, but I feel God is using me to plant seed in this person life. I haven't honestly thought about being a witness to this person, but opportunity has arisen several times. So , I stepped up to the plate and took a swing at it. So God has used this opp to teach me that all I have to do is be relative to the situation and not add anything extra to the situation just be myself and be open to minister to whoever God places in my path. Maybe this is not the way, Maybe I am totally off base, but for now, I am not at place to do indepth study, or I don't want to hang out with people that I can't relate to, I am being me. To thine on self be true. I guess the key is like the beining of this quest of thought Who am I ? Am I a product of God or Man?

Changes and such

Very busy week. Last week, I went back to my regular work schedule. Finally, I had recovered from being put to sleep and now I am tired from being back at work so many hours. Not complaing by any means, I am just happy to be here. Got through the week. The girls had valentine stuff to do for their homeschool coop classes they take once a week on Friday. That is was fun. I love holidays. I guess that stems from my parents putting a lot of emphasis on them.


Eric and I had a great day yesterday. We slept in, then we got up and headed to huntsville to get the girls a new swim suit for valentine's day. They needed a practice suit The fabric on the speedo and nike brand doesn't wear like the walmart suit does. So we dropped some dough, but hopefully it will make for a good investment.

After the swim shop, we headed to have our annual valentine day meal at humphries. We had nice conversation as always. We talked about how our perspective on things is changing for the better. Whether it be Church, Fiances, health , child rearing, or our relationship. We both agreed that we were moving in the right direction. We ended our valentine day with a trip to some desert shop which violates any diet. It was pretty nice. Then it was home and then we hung out over at Scott's and watched a great valentine movie "sixteen candles". It was a nice valentine's day for me. Really with Eric, every day is valentine's day. I am not trying to be cheesy or stupid, even though it soulds like it. We are both very fortunate to be able to celbrate the love and relationship we have every day of our lives. That happens when you find your soul mate.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

hodge podge of thoughts and such.

Recovery from surgery is so far good. No site of George anywhere.

Budgeting money is difficult, but it will work out.

Income tax will be here soon to help kick debt in the pants.

I am off today yippee.

I was supposed to go on a field trip, but decided to do something for myself and be a selfish selfish thing and stay at home. hee hee.

I love Eric so much. He is a great guy. He is the most wonderul man in the whole world.

I can't wait to get back to exercising. This is the last week of recovery, before I go back to the dr.

Must go now.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Today

I had a pretty good day, until I went to buy groceries. I hate walmart. The past couple of months we have been spoiled. We have been shopping at publix.

Anyway back to the good part. We went to homeschool classes. I taught my pe classes. Then we went to skate day at the skate castle. After that it was time for swim lessons and while Holly swam Heidi and I headed over to look for a book at the learning tree for school. After no success, she wanted to go to pro music to look at what else, drums. She was so cute in there.

After that headed over to pick up holly and then it was back home to drop them off.

I watched a littl of actor's studio.

After that, it was off to the grocery store to buy stuff.

Then spent a little time with the girls lookin through yughio cards.

all in all it was a 9 out of 10 off day.

My reflection

I am reflecting on planning. Since hopefully we may, and I stress may be out of debt in 3 years. We are going to have to have heart and strong will to make it happen. Once the snowball rolls, it will roll.

(back to my reflection)

My plan is once we are out of debt, I am weighing on my options.

1. continue to homeschool and go back to school

options for school

a. pe teacher high school
b. pe/coach college level requires a masters degree sometimes dr.
c. athletic trainer
d. sports medicine dr.

2. continue to school and take acting classes to pursue my true passion. It is not that I want to be famous or anything like that. I just want to pursue acting.

Just like music, acting and sports have always been escapes for me. I have put those aside because of other responsibilities. I believe once we are debt free, eric and I will be able to focus on our future and our children's future.

What is going on with me?

I just don't understand why my body is in high strung mode, unless it is is pms. I may not have a period as I used to know it,time will tell, but I can still have symptoms which are normally:

1. moodness
2. cramps
3. anxiety attacks due to the moodness
4. depression

I have experienced all of these this week.




Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I feel like the financial world is closing in on me.

Dave said it would be like this. I look at our finances and I think how the heck did we back into this mess again. Then, I answer, stupid sin. I am determined this time to get out and stay out at all cost. I am tired of budgeting. I am tired of scrapping the bottom. I am tired of all of it. Financial, we suck. Who the heck did we think we where? Why do we need so much crap? Once I get out of debt, I am going to go on a trip to the mountains and just breathe.


Rough night at the Depot for me. I made a mistake by hitting the wrong button on the telezon and deleting all the scans I had made in 1:30 hours. So I had to go back and complete them. It made me so stressed and mad that It took me so many times to go back and fix what I had messed up. I am still not sure that it is all right.


I need to be in bed right now. I didn't get up until late today. I was tired. Here we are again at 11:30 almost awake. I would be all paniced out if I went to bed right now. My anxiety is kicked in. I am about to go do some yoga to relax. I love yoga. It is an excape.

I know that I sould pretty frustrated right now. I know that it will all work out. Even in my sinful state, God still loves me. Thank God for that. I don't love myself very much right now. sigh. I am hating myself for allowing my finiances to get in this mess. At least I have figured out why I can't say no to Eric. The bottom line is I dont' want him to get mad at me. I don't want him to be frustrated. I don't want him to do without anything. Boy, Dr. Phil would be all over this. I am trying to change this and let him get mad about money.

He filled out our taxes tonight. We will actually be getting something back this time. Pretty amazing. It is more than what we used to get back. Hopefully this will help us start our emergency fund and catch up some things.

I feel wrong for even asking God to help me get out of this mess. I feel bad for even turning to him. I know that he is there, but I am just ashamed.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

First day of what

It is already the first day of Febuary. I can't believe it. Time flies that is for sure.


Paying off bills is pretty slow. It is taking off time. We have tested our committment several times. We both want it to pay off. I figure we better do it now, before our children know what certain brand clothing they choose to wear. They already are so adapted to our want lifestyle. All kids this day and time need to be told no more often when asking for wants. This will hopefully teach them to manage their money and marry someone who manages money well.


I did some yoga today. This is the first time since my surgery. I was a little concerned, but when my body yelled stop I just stopped. I was encouraged by the amount of flexibility that I have maintained. I must do yoga for the rest of my life. I haven't done yoga actually in about 3 weeks and similar symptoms are creaking back in. I have almost turned my ankle several times. I got a catch in my hip a couple of times. Leg cramps, painful. I am going to try yoga for this week and then hopefully I can get back to the bike in a week or so. I need to start walking again. Maybe I will do that next week.

Must catch up on some reading.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Long time, no type

It has been several days since I updated my blog. wow. I didn't realize it has been so long. I have been extremely busy though. Also, I have an allergy attack. I cleaned out the filter in my vacumn cleaner. It is one of those bagless kinds. Dust got up in my sinus cavity. It has left me with a nasty sinus cold. Many of you will be glad to know that I am losing my voice. It actually comes and goes. Your prayers have been answered.

I have been trying to contact and old friend. I don't know what is going on. She want return my calls. I left a message with her mom to call me. If I remember correctly, she is a procrastinator. I was trying to get in touch with her so a bunch of my old friends could have lunch together. We will see if that will happen. This girl I am reffering to is one of my best friends from school. We loved Wham, David letterman. She introduced me to some cool music. We would quote movies together. We played tennis together. It was fun times. I have an overwhelming desire to get in touch with her for some reason. Who knows/

All is ok here at the home front.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Dave Ramsey was right

He said when you got serious about paying off debt things would go wrong. I took the girls to the dentist today. Heidi is missing permanent teeth according to x rays. Holly' s permanent teeth are to big for the space allowed, she needs more room. So she has to have 8 teeth pulled 4 at a time. After insurance, it will cost around 300 dollars to get this work done. I am afraid if we do nothing, more money will have to be spent later on. It is not that we wont have the money but that is 300 dollars that wont go to debt. Life is full of issues like this. It is hard to stay foccused on this. I can't wait to get settled into paying off bills. A couple of months from now when things are stable or more stable that will be wonderful.


I am back in the saddle on my diet. I am eating around 20 points a day on the weight watchers guidelines. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is plenty to survive on. Oh well, I want to lose 10 more pounds and tone up before summer. I would love to go to the tanning bed, but I will just wait until spring comes so I can lay out and get sun the nartual way.



Justice Served

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/26/store.shooting.ap/index.html

Country store becomes shootout site
Wednesday, January 26, 2005

ATLANTA, Georgia (AP) -- \When two men walked into a popular country store outside Atlanta, announced a holdup and fired a shot, owners Bobby and Gloria Doster never hesitated. The pair pulled out their own pistols and opened fire.
The armed suspect and his partner were killed. The Dosters won't be charged, according to local officials, because they were acting in self-defense.
"I just started shooting," said Gloria Doster, 56. "I was trying to blow his brains out is what I was trying to do."
Shoats Grocery & Package near Crawford, 70 miles east of Atlanta, is a well-known spot where locals stop for breakfast biscuits or lunch. Gloria Doster said the two men who came there Monday had something else in mind.
She was rearranging boxes of soda by the store's front door when a man wearing a wig walked inside, the fake hair draped in front of his face.
"I asked him, 'Can you see to walk?"' Doster said. Then she noticed a second man behind him wearing a mask. He announced a holdup.
One man grabbed Gloria Doster and pushed her toward the register. She said the other kept his gun on her 62-year-old husband, who also goes by the name Shoats.
She said she tried to open the register, but one of the men told her she wasn't moving fast enough and tried to shoot her husband. He missed -- and his gun jammed.
At that point, Bobby Doster pulled out a .380-caliber handgun and shot one of the suspects. Gloria Doster then went for a 9 mm pistol she keeps near the register.
"All hell broke loose," she said. "I was trying to shoot and dial 911 at the same time."
Both suspects took cover behind the store's meat counter as the Dosters opened fire. Gloria Doster said she doesn't know how many bullets were fired, or how many times the suspects were hit.
Police arrived about five minutes after receiving Gloria Doster's call; the suspects died a short time later at a hospital.
The bloodshed, nevertheless, startled Gloria Doster, who has been around guns all her life, and has used them for target shooting. "But I never figured I'd have to use them on anybody," she said.
She said the worst thing that's happened in the seven years the couple has owned the store was an after-hours break-in by teenagers three years ago. The burglars were promptly arrested.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Day 2 planning

Well, I have been doing a lot today. Mostly tweaking a budget to get us on track. It is going to be tough. I can already tell for us to stay on track. It just must be done. I am probably going to turn into the mean old ogar wife and mom about money. Someone has to be th ogar, I guess. I need to take the capital one commerical and run to my family no no no no no. I spend money to. I am just cheap and don't make big purchases.

I staye up till midnight last night. I watched some stuff on Jonny Carson. Jay Leno had his whole show dedicated to him. Then, I watched Larry King show. It was all cool and brought back many memories. Oh well, times have changed as they said this is a new era.



Monday, January 24, 2005

Planning for a new year

Eric and I are starting to work on our plan for this year. Losing weight, paying off debt, and getting our family better organized to do more than watch tv and play gamecube. I would love to be debt free including our mortgage by the time I am 40. that is 6 years from now. Even if we pay off everthing except for the house. I would be thrilled. I know that the girls having a car and insurance is just around the corner. I want us to be prepared to provide for them and not have to go broke doing it. I think that we will give the girls the option to work if they want to. Just to have spending money and start saving money as well. I want them to learn how to manage money from the get go. I never did because I never had any. I didn't work very much. Eric never did because he didn't have any either. I want them to learn early that it is ok not to have everything there heart desires. Anyway enough of that rant.

I started reading Dave Ramsey's book total money makeover. I can relate a lot of my mindset to weight loss to the paying off debt. It is a pretty good book for sure.

The recovery is coming along pretty good. I am anxious to get back to my old habit of exercise and I am looking forward to having some energy. I know it is only been one week, but I just want recovery to go quicker. I miss my yoga.

Oh well, that is my life for today. I must get back to house work. I am trying to recover from the weekend