Thursday, December 30, 2004

Trying to see the brightside..

Today was a not a good day for us. It started out bad because I woke up this morning at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. So I got up and averaged grades and almost got that done. Then, I went back to sleep until 11:00.

I then called the car dealership, who was taking a look at my car to see what problem I had. They didn't find anything wrong and suggested that we needed new tires. So my sister came and took me to get my car. Eric met me at big 10 tires and we had new tires put on my car. The guy that did the job said he used to work at the dealership and that something something shaft was not getting enough grease or lube or whatever. So we took the car back to the dealership for the 2nd time and they fixed it.

So all is well right,wrong.

Heidi had not been feeling well all day. My mother in law watched them this afternoon. She called me at work to let me know that Heidi was running a low grade fever. ARGGHHH.

We are having Christmas this weekend with my mother in law and sister and brother in law. I really shouldn't complain because this is the 1st time we have been sick in awhile and it could be a lot worse, but I am only human.

So in the midst of all of this, I am trying to remain positive.


hee hee. Not doing to well.



Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Employee of the Month

That would be me. I recieved the honor of being employee of the month at office depot. Supposedly I will be recieving a $75 dollar gift card sometime in the near future. That is pretty cool.

Men if your stomach turns at the talk of periods and such skip this paragraph.

Hopefully, this month will be the last of bad menstrual cycles. I will be having an ebaltion done on January 14th. What they do is they go in do a dnc and a take pictures of the inside of the uterus. Then, if all is well, they insert a balloon into the uterus and fill it full of hot water and burn the lining out of the inside of the uterus. Thus there is little to no bleeding. I have some issues. Can't remember if I told about these are not. Either my uterus is growin into my uterine muscle or I have some long diesease that causes me to cramp really bad. I feel pretty much like I am in labor every month. My hope is that I will be able to hold off at least 5 years before I have the hysterectomy. Anyway, I am pretty excited about the whole thing. less pain is good. It is an outpatient procedure and I should be up and back to normal in a couple of days after the surgery. Any prayers would be appreciate it.


Ok now that is all the pms talk.

This weekend we will have Christmas with my husband mother, grandmother and sister. That should prove to be pretty fun. We always have a good time together. Anyway, I am almost finished with grades for the semester. I have 1 hr before bedtime and I am going to try to finish them.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Trying to get back on track.

Man,

How easy it is to fall off of a horse. The past 2 weeks, I have gone off splurging more on food than I have in awhile. I haven't gained any weight which is pretty remarkable considering what I have been eating and that I haven't exercised consistently. I decided that I would walk on my lunch break at work. Even though I walked for only 10 minutes, I felt better, and I felt that I accomplished something.

I have a tendancy to loose focus during the day on what I am doing so I am going back to a daily planning routine. Every night before I go to bed, I will plan the next day out by physical writing that down. It seems that I get more accomplished that way. I want to read the 8th habit by Steven Covey maybe that will help me focus more to.

Well, speaking of focussing, I have to work on grades and progress reports that have to be turned in on Jan. 15th and I think that I will do a little laundry before bed.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Wow, Christmas came and is almost gone!!!

It just isn't the same anymore. It is a good different though. I never thought that I would say that getting a present wasn't important to me. Just reflecting on what I got this year, here are some things that I got all year.

*another year with a wonderful husband
*2 healthy children
*one semi restored relationship
*New close friends
*new vision on my life
*a smaller waist line
*a healthy extended family

Those are the important things that I got this year. I guess to sum it all up, I got relationships.

Those are pretty darn important. I am thankful to God above for all he has blessed me with.



Thursday, December 23, 2004

recap of the weekend

I have been very busy the last couple of days trying to catch up housework, christmas shopping, and working.

Friday,

We got up and got on the road a little later than we wanted to, but all was good. The ride there was beautiful. We had a couple of snags on the road through Chatanooga, but that is expected. Trucks locking up, people being stupid. We stopped in Natalahala. Wow what a great little spot. I loved it there. I got some great shots of the girls there.Then it was on to N.C. We finally made it to the cabin without getting lost. (I was giving directions). We had a nice dinner waiting on us. Typical Christmas dinner. It was delicious though. We toured the cabin and it was beautiful. It had 6 bedrooms and 3 baths. (I got the card, I see a friends weekend coming up in our future). After dinner we made Christmas ornaments from construction paper, coloring book pages, ribbon and glue. Very cute tree. After that we hung out for a bit and went to bed.

Saturday,

I woke up about 2:30 and couldn't sleep. I sat up and looked at the fire in our nice fireplace for about an hour and thought about how for breakfast I wanted some ham and eggs. I went back to bed and woke up the next morning and cooked some ham and eggs. Yummy!!! We all got ready and went into Ashville and went shopping. It was a cool town with a lot of cool shops. Then, we went back to the cabin and got ready for an amazing evening. We all got dressed up and headed to the Biltmore. For dinner, I chose the Lobster Bisque, Roasted Duck, Apple Cranberry cake (pie). It was very delicious. Then we headed for the tour. OH My Lord the House was beautiful. I can't even begin to imagine living in a place like that. It was huge and beautifully restored. There was a bowling alley and a swimming pool inside the house. For that time period, it is pretty amazing to think about it. There were 35 bedrooms and 43 bathrooms in the house. Amazing. We headed back home that evening and went to bed and awaited snow for the next day.

Sunday,

We woke up to no snow, few flurries. I decided that I wanted to get out of the house and explore my surroundings. So Tara and I took the girls, I wanted to give the grownups a break, and headed out. We drove in the mountains for several hours. The temperature kept rising as we left weaverville. It was pretty hillarous. Well, we stopped at the downtown toyshop. Holly and Heidi were not impressed. Sooo, we headed back to make a quick stop at the grocery store. We were in the store maybe 15 minutes and came out to a freaking blizzard. It was snowing harder than I have ever seen in my life. It was a beautiful sight.. The girls were very excited. When we got back to the cabin, they played in the snow and had a great time. That evening we, John actually, built a bonfire. We roasted hot dogs and made smores. Then the girls, Tara and I , took a slide down the hill on our natural sleds (our butts). IT pays to pack a booty in the snow. That was fun. After that, we all headed in to get warm. We played triva pursuit and headed to bed.


Monday,

We slept in. We had to be out by 11:00. So we did the normal packing thing. The line we were to travel on to get home was really the line the snow storm hit. We decided to go south. It added about 5 hours to our trip hom which was already 6 hours. So, if you do your math, that is 11 hours. yikes. Very long trip home, but very relaxing. We could have took the 6 hr trip, but it would have felt like 11 hours. So we chose less stress. yeah. We decided to go through helen Georgia. It was very beautiful . Then we had supper in Dalton, Georgia. Then it was home. I love the mountains. I love driving through them and seeing all of the beautiful overlooks. Eric and I are going to live there one day.


Tuesday- Wednesday

Back to work and daily grindstone. I will work tonight, but be off tomorrow and Saturday. Yippee.

Merry Christmas to anybody that does read this.


Be back next week.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

WE had a great time!!!

I must say!! As ed grimley would have put it. We went to Ashville, NC this weekend and it was wonderful. I will detail much later. Right now, reality has set in,I must go to work.


Snazzy!!!!! Posted by Hello
All dressed up and somewhere to go!!!!! Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 16, 2004

I hope blonde's have more fun!!

The reason that I hope blonde's have more fun is because I am one now. I got hightlights done today. ooooooo. I hope hubby will be happy with them. It will take some getting use to for me. It is a pretty dramatic change. We will see. I am kind of nervous about him seeing my hair. Most people would say it doesn't matter if he likes it do you? I however care what my prince charming thinks about what I look like. He looks at me more than I do. Thus, it is important. I am crossing my fingers and holding my breath.


I am excited about the trip I am about to go on to the Biltmore with the family. I am pretty excited. I here it nice there.
I am addicted to pretzels. Posted by Hello
I am addicted to hot chocolate. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Oh the Pain

Got my eyebrows waxed today. owwwww. That hurts really bad. The way I get mine done is my grandmother heats this wax up and then she puts this hot burning wax on my eyes. Then she precedes to let it harden. After this, she takes tweezers and rips the wax off with eyebrows. Man beauty is pain.

Monday, December 13, 2004

A DAY OFF

That is what I need. Man, my real job has me working as of the last 3 weeks 5 days in a row without a day off. I now realize why eric stays pissy a lot or how he used to. He really has improved his disposition. The man can bring you down if you let him. This is day 5 and it was really tough not to be negative. I lost focus and got pissed off tonight at work. They had me going in 3 different directions and I was determined to finish 1 project. I ended up finishing most of my work. I have to continually remind myself that is just paper supplies. I have got to get back to practicing my walking yoga. I felt better when I did that. I had a time of reflection on a daily basis. I just have to get back into the routine of things.

A Fighting Disposition

That is my description of myself when playing board games or pretty much any sport. Dang it. I love to win. hee hee. A minor character flaw for some, but I love that fighting spirit within myself.

I started reading my acting books again. I haven't gotten very far, but I am determined to read them. I really want to focus in the near future on drama, theatre, tv, etc. I don't want to be famous, I just want to do what I love to do. I remembered something to. There is no basment in the alamo either.


Friday, December 10, 2004

In Loving Memory

In loving memory of Jenita Smith. She was killed in an automobile accident. She was one of my cheerleader sponser in college. She was so precious. I post a picture of books because she loved literature so much. She will be missed. Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Feeling kind of sentimental

Maybe it is a result of high or low horomne levels. who knows? I can't sleep because I have to much going on in the old brain.This is the first time in a long time that this has happened. I ate some crackers and drank some milk and will try to get back to sleep soon. I lay in bed earlier thinking about how fortunate I am to be married to the most wonderful man in the world and have 2 great kids whom I love tremndously. We have some great friends. Although our life is not perfect, it has some great things in it. IN all reality, I am as happy as I can be on this earth.

I saw one of my directors in theatre tonight. I have decided to pick up my acting books that Eric bought me in Febuary and try reading them again. They are a bit beyond my way of thinking and intelect when it comes to preparing to be an actor and building a character, but I feel the need to try to stretch my way of thinking when it comes to this subject. I also am going to do some research on some other books that might intrest me on the subject of yoga.

I have to work this weekend so I will be pretty tied up with all of that. I am anxious to see the schedule for next week. I know that I will be off friday-Monday, so I look to work most of next week time will tell.




Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Getting back into the groove

It was nice to get back into the groove of my life yesterday. I hope that it will last for sometime. Thanksgiving and work have about shook my world upside down. I didn't have anything to do or anywhere to go yesterday and that enabled me to walk and get some much need house cleaning done. I still have plenty to do today, but I did get a lot done yesterday. I even got my tree decorated. yoohoo. I think the biggest adjustment for me is working 30 hour weeks and trying to juggle house, kids etc. Thank goodness Eric has stepped in to help. Hopefully after Christmas things will scale down at work a little and all will be well. I don't know how these supermoms do it. Work 40-60 hours a week and have kids to take care of and a house to take care of that would be impossible for me. I guess I am a big wimp. I can live with that though.

It was nice to get back into my yoga frame of mine. On my walk yesterday, the wind was blowing, the sun was shining. It was awesome to feel the presence of God through his creation and for just a few minutes focus on him alone.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Falalalalalal

It was cool today our homeschool group went caroling to an elderly home. These little old ladies were so sweet. They just loved to see the kids sing. It was fun to see them laugh and smile.

I am glad to be off for the next 2 days. That will be awesome. I actually don't have anywhere to go tomorrow except to start walking again. Rain or shine, I have to. If it rains we may ride over to the aquadome and walk there. So I may have one place to go. I have got to stay in shape for sure. I have been practicing my yoga poses still, but walking really makes a difference in relation to the poses.

I have a great husband. I love him very much.


Sunday, December 05, 2004

Recap

Friday - shopping/ work/slash baking/bed
Saturday- Huntsville shopping/play rehearsal/poker night
Sunday-rewrite on the play/figure out bills/church/bake/play/dinner/game of life at Scott's/bed
Monday-is yet to be seen.


I love to watch people do card tricks. Really, I do. I think that it is super cool. I guess it is the little kid in me. I still get amazed that Santa can make it all around the world in one night to. And don't blow up my hopes and dreams by telling me that he is not real because I saw him, the real him on Christmas eve in my living room talking to my mom and dad. So, maybe he doesn't come to your house because you don't believe in him, but he comes to mine.

Making the little fortune teller things like we made in grade school and the poppers is pretty fun to.
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/origami/fortuneteller/

the kids in Sunday School reminded me how fun those things can be. It is crazy to me that they have lasted this long.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Work, moving, babysitting etc....

My week has been crazy, however, I haven't really lost it at all. I almost went off on this old lady at work one day. She was just hateful. She was asking me if we carried a certain item and I was asking her a question in return to make sure that I understood her and before I could even finish my question, she snapped at me. I was like hold that horse sister. I was thinking in my mind at first, I dare her to be ugly to me. Then, I felt sorry for her because she was either not well (mental) or she must have had some tragedy in her life to make her so hateful and bitter. It made me hope that I will never be an old bitty and that I will always be the nice old grandmother lady that makes you happy and smile. Kind of like Mrs. Clause.


My mom and dad moved all their stuff into their new house yesterday even though it was not totally complete. They had to move because the trailer that they were living in was being moved today. I went down and helped them move some stuff. It was a task. It made me feel good to help them. I was tickled actually. I got to babysit for mom (my sister kids that she keep m-f). That was cool. My mom and I made a intresting trip down to lake at like 11:00 monday to move some stuff that couldn't get wet due to the rain on Tuesday. Good thing we did. It was a nice trip of memories and remminissing. It was like old times when we used to spend a lot of time together.

Busy, but still foccused on peace and tranquility.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Work, Work, Work

Wow, I really have a job now. I have to work a total of 32 hours this week. The blogging will probably be minimal for me this week. I have tons to do. and I have to work everyday but Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. Should be an intresting week.


Friday, November 26, 2004

The Last Thankful Post

I am thankful for the 50% off scratch ticket that I got at goody's this morning. yeah!!!!! That was freaking awesome. I am also thankful that I didn't get my DVD player from Sears. You win some you lose some. no problem. I am thankful that I had to work tonight. Mavis house was a very unbearable place to be I am told.




Thursday, November 25, 2004

Being Thankful 5

Today, I will be thanful for friends and aquaintences.

I Samuel 20
16 So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, Let the LORD even require it at the hand of David's enemies.
17 And Jonathan caused David to swear again, because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul.

In my lifetime, I have met few Jonathans, but I have managed to meet a few. I have one person that I am very thankful for and that is my friend Phylisha. She is like a Jonathan. It is sad that I don't spend more time with her than I do. I love her very much. She has loved me no matter what and we have both took an oath to always love one another.

Then there are friends that you meet in sections of your life. You may not keep up with them, but at that moment they have your back. I am thankful for those friends that try to understand me for what I am. They love me for me. They don't like me at there convience, nor do they try to change me to make them comfortable. They just love me for me. I am not going to make a list of you guys. You know who you are, and I love ya thanks for being my friend.


Then there are the quaintences these are people that just hang out with ya because you happen to be in the same circle they are in or you speak to on a weekly basis. I am thankful for them as well. It is nice to have a huge amount of people that you know will be there if ya need them.

All in all relationships are important, I am very thankful for any relationship that I am a part of.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Being Thankful 4

Today I was thanful for Family. I have been blessed all my life to be raised in believin in God by my parents. I am thankful for all of my family. my sister, whom I love dearly and brother in law and grandparents and nieces. They are precious. I have been blessed with another family that I married into. I have great in laws. Great sister and brother in law. In my description, I say that I live the fairy tale and it is even true down to family.

I can't say that there are not problems in my family, but thee is love there. When your famuly you must accept one another. No one gets left behind.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Being Thanikful 3

I am thankful for my kids. I have two beautiful girls. They are both pretty inside and out. I never could imagine being a mother could be so rewarding and wonderful. It is nice to be the mother of tmy girls. I stay on them all the time, but they are pretty good kids most of the time. They are both very unique in their own special way. God has taught me so much by having children. These 2 life lessons are worth every bit of pain I ever experienced.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Being Thankful 2

I am thankful for the most wonderful man in the whole wide world. I love him so much. He is the most passionate person that I know. He also has beautiful eyes. I look through them and see his inner soul. He is the most intresting person in the world to me. He has wonderful thoughts and ideas. Yes, he has his faults to, but the good things out weigh his faults beyond measure. He is my companion, He is my lover, He is everything I could ever want in a soul mate. My life is better for knowing him. I am thankful this holiday season and everyday of my life that I have been fortunate enough to love someone truly. Not only to love, but to be loved back is the most wonderful feeling that words will never be able to describe.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

How Fortunate am I?

I am so fortunate. I have decided to blog about one thing a day that I am thankful for. I am thankful today for God. He is been so faithful to me. I can look back in my life and see him moving and guiding me. He has given me strength and courage to face really difficult situations and problems. No matter what I have been through. I have relied on my faith and belief system to carry me through. Taking all manipulation and falseness out, God is there. Just knowing that there is a creator out there who allowed me to live and experience what I have thus far is amazing. Just being able to see autumn come and see trees changing is pretty wonderful. Putting all doctrinal beliefs aside and just being thankful for Himby seeing the things that He has done is plenty enought to be thankful for.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

HOLIDAY FUN

Had a good time today with the girls. We did theme pages on Thanksgiving for school. Fun stuff. They loved it. Tomorrow we will go to the Library and do a reading day. I am going to try to find the Cranberries Thanksgiving and some other books to on Thanksgiving. Then we have some holiday crafts to make and a Holiday Theme to write. It is cool to pass down those fun traditions during Holidays.


Had some pretty good stuff on clearance today at the Depot. Not stuff I would normally buy, but al ot of cheap stuff. I was unable to purchase stuff since I worked there. Evidently there is a manager descretion law at office depot. They ahd some sims games for 1. 00 and they had some jump start for 1:00 and warcraft game 1:00. Have some printers and laptops on Clearance. that is pretty much it. Have some dvd discs on sale. That makes for happy shoppers.



Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Get a Real Job!!!!

People who say housewives and mom don't have a real job need to keep my twin nieces that are 3 like I did today. I had 4 kids in the house. 9 year old, 7 year old, 2 3 year olds and a dog. IT was crazy. My anxiety came back. I even threw the yoga out the window. I don't think anything can prepare you to deal with that. Even thought it was hectic, it was nice keeping them. I love them so much and they are so inquisitive.

I love to cook. I cooked broccoli casserole and a yam casserole for dinner with Mac and cheese. It was mighty tasty. All is well, except I am ready to go to bed at 6:00. I have been up for over 12 hours that is a stretch for me. LOL.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Culturalized

I love attending cultural stimulating events. The girls and I went and saw Discover Dance prestented by Fine Arts in Birmingham at the Princess Theatre. Even though there were just kids dancing, it was pretty good. I enjoyed swan lake the best. Otherwise, I had a pretty bad day focussing on the things that I have tried to practice recently. I kind of was ill today. I could blame it on a lot of things, but it is my fault for losing focus of the simplicity of this life. Tomorrow is another day and I will try again.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Our new doggie, Mia Posted by Hello
See the itty bitty ducks Posted by Hello

Nice again to get out into nature

Taking Grandmother to the dr was a great thing. Afterwards, we went out and drove around the reid, west limestone, swan creek area. It was nice to get out and see the leaves changing colors and just get away from this BIG City we live in. It is big enough that is for sure. I got to thinking about how fortunate we are that we could drive 15min. - 1:00 away from decatur and get to nature. Some nice places away from it all that you can see many things and experience quietness, peace and many things. I am trying to do this at least once a week so my perspective on life is encouraged. We also went to a park across from Athens State College. There are a lot of ducks that fly in there . Usually we take them bread, but the bread thrift store was closed that we usually go to. So we just went an looked and the pretty ducks. It was all nice.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

People wonder why kids are so spoiled and disobedient

You go to work in retail in America and you will figure it out. Kids learn by example for the most part. They learn by someone's example. People that come through at work think that everything should go perfect and that they should not have to wait and that they should be waited on before anyone else. I don't get upset, I just apoligize and try to understand there frustration. Your attitude is reflection of your anticipation. If you expect all the consumers to be nice then you will definitely have a bad attitude because that is not reality. If you expect that you have some good and bad apples, then you can have a great day knowing that some people are just jerks and that you don't have to be like them. So next time, I go into a store, I am going to be more concious when my service sucks or when my order gets messed up because stuff happens and I as a true American don't have to be spoiled, and hateful, but in someway can spread God's love through someone else's imperfection.


Had a nice evening Friday with the hubby and some friends. It has been a long time since we just hung out at the house and just watched tv.

I weighed tonight and still haven't put on any more pounds suprisingly. I praise God for that, he has given me knowledge and helped me turn that into wisdom by truly learning moderation with food. My food addiction is totally in remission.I don't always eat healthy and work on that coninuosly, but for the most part, I eat in moderation and by learning that principle and trying to apply it in every aspect of my life, I will be a better person.

I wished that I would have found this peaceful place that I am in many years ago. I mean I have always been a happy go lucky person, but to work in retail and deal with selfish, hateful people and still be able to smile. IT is all because of my faith in God that I can feel the way I feel at this moment.

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God, in the mountain of his holiness.Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is mount Zion, on the sides of the north, the city of the great King. God is known in her palaces for a refuge. For, lo, the kings were assembled, they passed by together They saw it, and so they marvelled; they were troubled, and hasted away. Fear took hold upon them there, and pain, as of a woman in travail. Thou breakest the ships of Tarshish with an east wind. As we have heard, so have we seen in the city of the LORD of hosts, in the city of our God: God will establish it for ever. Selah. We have thought of thy lovingkindness, O God, in the midst of thy temple. According to thy name, O God, so is thy praise unto the ends of the earth: thy right hand is full of righteousness. Let mount Zion rejoice, let the daughters of Judah be glad, because of thy judgments. Walk about Zion, and go round about her: tell the towers thereof. Mark ye well her bulwarks, consider her palaces; that ye may tell it to the generation following. For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death. Psalms 48.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Sharon!!! Where is the Alcohol?

We had Thanksgiving dinner after our homeschool classes today. I sat with several moms and we were talking about how we couldn't believe how our mom's used to let us watch grease (the movie), and movies like that. When one of the mom's told us her son did a great impression of Ozzie O. He came over to the table and she preceded to ask him to do the impersonation and he was a little bashful, but as he walked away from the table In the middle of the church we meet in which is a baptist church. He says in his Ozzie voice Sharon!!! Where is the alcohol? His mom's face turned a little red. She was only expecting him to say Sharon!! The added line cracked us all up. Then we started talking about SNL and one of the other moms said I am gumby dammit right there in the church. IT was so freakin funny. I about lost it. I thought that lunch was very entertaining.

I love teaching kids. It is so much fun. My pe classes on Thursdays is great. The kids whine sometimes about do I have to play and etc, but all in all they really want to and have fun when they participate. I have about 50 students in all. They are broke up into 4 classes. So the size of each class is pretty nice.


I actually got a nap today that was really nice. I guess that is why I am up at this moment. I got called into work for 3 hours tonight. That was cool. More monay to pay of debt. They gave us a free turkey for Thanksgiving it came with our checks.

Going to the lake tomorrow morning to help paint and check out the progress of mom and dad's house. Should be relaxing and fun.


Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Testing the real

Well had 2 people call in at work today. That meant I had to work the register by myself. I am not fully trained to operate such a contraption. It is more than just scan something and hitting total. I am required to do purchase orders, returns, exchanges, tax exempt stuff, etc amd answer the phone. So it is not will that be check, cash or charge. It discount cards and etc. Anyway, I could have had a worse night, but I put into practice somethings that I have been reading about lately and I have to say that they worked. I can't lie, At one point, I was a nervouse wreck it was a deer head lights moment. I had 3 people in line, 2 people on the phone and everyone was buys helping someone in the store. At that moment I decided to make a concious choice to breath and go to my quiet place and just relax. It really worked to just count to 10 and say hey I am just going to do what I can and the rest I will apologize for. I must say that my pleasantness to the customer while they waited helped the customer be calm to. I had one lady out of the 50-75 people I waited on get a little upset at me, but that was ok it wasn't like she slapped me she just said I could make you re wring that up and then give me my advantage discount, I said I can do that for you maam if you would like and she declined.

So the norm would have been me having a nervous breakdown, but I survived and did it with a happy relaxed positive attitude. All because I have determined with God's help that I am not going to let what I can't change effect me. I am going to do what I can and just say screw the rest in the most positive manner possible

Monday, November 08, 2004

Finding the real

the song below has some awesome lyrics. It is really where most of the peeps I hang out want, to find the real. I am hopefully hitting the surface of what will be the real for me. I read some more in another book tonight about some health issues that I am facing and how yoga can help. It is amazing that our health is effected by what we put in our bodies. If we get headaches, have rough womenly cycles, back aches it all points to diet, exercise, and stress.

With out further delay Here is the song enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Find the real alterbridge!
Stuck in the middle I burrow insideBack to the cradleAway from the burdens of all my crimesBefore it’s fatalMy past has found me the truth’s come outAll is rememberedWith no place to fall but straight downI must surrenderWell it seems I’veFinally thought of everythingI wanna loveI wanna feelFind peaceFind the realThere’s a face I put on all my lifeThe face of an angelBut I look in the mirror only to findThe face of a strangerAnd with all I’ve taken I hunger for moreCause I’m selfishAnd all I’m left with is a crown of thornsAnd I’m helplessWell it seems I’veFinally thought of everythingI wanna loveI wanna feelFind peaceFind the realI’ll trade these lies for something rightI’ll kill what hurts with something pureI will be redeemed so I can breathe againWell it seems I’veFinally thought of everythingI wanna loveI wanna feelFind peaceFind the realWell it seems I’veFinally thought of everythingI wanna loveI wanna feelFind peaceFind the real

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Connecting with the lIfe Source

I love the book I am reading still. I read yesterday some, it was very inlighting. It discussed connecting to the world of nature and people around us. It is pretty amazing when we disconnect with our problems and focus on the reality of all living things around us. It seems our problems can become so small in view of the great life source around us. I know that so many times aI allow my focus to zoom into the inside of myself and I get so angry and upset and twisted that I about have an emotional breakdown. I am going to try to start focussing on the big picture and focus on getting intune with the harmony of life going on around me.

I also read how what is going on around me, my attitude and the thoughts that drive me effects how I carry myself . It effects how I physically feel. If I want to be mentally, emotionally, spirtually, and physically healthy, I have to lead a more postitive lifestyle. I can't throw my problems out the window, but when things get so overwhelming, I just need to stop and count to 10 and breath. And try to find a simple soulution to whatever is facing me.

This book reminds me of the 7 habits book. It is very powerful and uplifting.


I am so happy that we have added a new edition to our family today. Her name is Mia. She is a pug and she is very cute. She has finally settled in and is trying to sleep a little. It is amazing how demanding a dog can be.

Friday, November 05, 2004

The most stressful place on the planet....

has to be Walmart. I went grocery shopping in there. I tried not to get to stressed out, but it is impossible for me not to have a panic attack every time I go in there. My chest hurts, I can't breathe. I know how stressful it is to work there and that is why it is so stressful to shop there. It is all insane. I am glad that I work for a more relaxed company now. I love my new job so far.

While in Walmart, I ran in to reggie this guy that works there. He made a record and he is now selling them. I want to buy one just to be supportive to him because he had done this album on his own and he is selling it on his on. I am not to totally sure what type of music it is, but I am pretty sure it is r and b. I heard he can really sing well. The cost of the Album is 10. 00 if anyone is intrested in supporting an aritist that is doing things the right way.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

'SNL' auditions to become reality show

I read this article this morning. I would love to be on SNL. That would be like a dream come true. Even if it was just for one episode. HMMM. I will have to scheme away to get to one of those auditions. I wonder if they will let old people play. hmmm.

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- The always fierce competition among comics to land a gig on NBC's "Saturday Night Live" is set to become the basis of a reality series for the network.
Sources said NBC is working on a reality-competition series fronted by "SNL" creator/executive producer Lorne Michaels. The project would chronicle a group of comedians vying for a grand prize that is believed to be a role on the long-running sketch comedy series.
Michaels is expected to play a Donald Trump-like role, winnowing the pool of contestants until a victor is selected. Sources indicated that the project is eyed for a possible summer launch. NBC declined comment.
Michaels got his taste of getting tough on reality series contestants in a "SNL" parody skit of NBC's reality hit "The Apprentice" last season, in which he took over Trump's role and "fired" cast member Jimmy Fallon.
NBC already has a track record in turning talent searches into a successful reality series with "Last Comic Standing."

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

EXIT

Hmm this could stem to a lot of topics, but I want to just focus on the one at hand. The election. I stayed up late to watch the results. I was not really concerned on who won, even though I did vote. I was more intrested in the educational side of things. the electoral college, popular vote, which states picked who etc.... It was very intresting to me.

It is sad that we have a country so divided. It doesn't look good to the rest of the world. Hopefully, ever who is declared the winner will focus on uniting our country. It is in my opinion the #1 priority. " A house divided against itself cannot stand." Jesus, Abraham Lincoln and others.

It is rainy here today. Makes me want to sleep all day, even though, I am not aloud. I have much to do. School work, house work, and a few errands.


I think the song for today is Rainy days and post election days always get me down. lol

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Busy Day

Yesterday was a busy day. It was nice after it was all over to just sit down and relax last night watch a little tv. IT was nice to be able to be at home and cook supper. It was nice to sit down and eat with the family. It is back to work tonight and Thursday. I like the job ok. I look to start working a little bit more after one of my managers asked me how many hours can you work in one week. So, we will see Thursday when the schedule comes out if I get to add another day. I wouldn't mind it really. 4 days a week would be a great thing. IT would allow me to make what I original wanted to with this job.


Can't skip over the election issue. I still don't know who I am going to vote for. I am really torn about what to do. I guess I wlll know when I go in the little booth. Maybe I will play one potato two potato two potato four. You really are getting the same thing, it is just packaged a little different. So We will see.

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Sunday Church at Subway

I went to work this morning at 10:00 so I didn't get to go to crosspoint to church, but that didn't stop me from having a mindset of worshiping God today. I tried really hard by listening to the local radio station to listen to God speak to me. well at 11;00 I went to Subway with a couple of my co workers. We were sitting around and I started asking them about the music they liked and we got off on where I go to church and we begin to talk about true worship right there in the middle of subway. Derek, my co worker was like well we just had church It was a cool moment for me. I really can't put into words how important that was to me to see God work in my life and meet the need I had. I didn't really feel that bad about missing church anymore after that. I started building a friendship with two guys that I seem to have a good bit in common with.


Switching directions here. I just feel like writing about My lover, my husband E. IF YOU FEEL SICK AT THE SOUND OF SAPPINESS SKIP DOWN TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. I want the whole blogging world to know how much I Love him. Even though things are not always that whole Cinderella story that I thought that I was getting, I would rather be where I am at today having learned what I have learned than be in Prince charming/s Castle with all the riches in the world. No one has it all together. My friends either have money are families and want what each other has. I would much rather have love than money. Ask me why I love my lover so much because he is the most Wonderful Man in the Whole Wide World. I am sorry if I have embarrassed you honey, but I love you.


Well here is the next paragraph I am done. Must go play Barbie's with Heidi.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Happy Trick or Treat!!!!

Yes, We celebrated Halloween today because our city chose for us to. Which was fine to me. I had to work most of the day. It was pretty slow today.


Friday, October 29, 2004

Work is good.

I had to go back today. It is weird that I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 4 AM and couldn't go back to sleep until 7 and the got up at 8:30. So I am a wee bit tired now. I have to work this weekend SAT AND SUN. I don't mind so much. Seeing as I only have to work TUes and Thurs next week. I am getting about the same hours as Whitt's and making a little more in the process. I seem to be doing excellent at work. Everyone keeps saying, you are doing better than I was at this point. That makes me feel good.

I felt an overwhelming burden to be debt free today. I guess I took to deep a look into what we owe. We just have to get back on the band wagon of paying things off like we should. Get it back under control. It want take long. We are close to paying one bill off and it should be taken care of in a couple of weeks then the next one want take to terrible long hopefully. Then Christmas comes around and we have a tripped planned (Family Affair). Then in January, we will be back to hitting the debt.

I am looking forward to Holly's first swim meet. I don't want her to be to pressured to win. I just want her to try. She sure is slimming up since she swims 3 days a week now. Maybe I should do that for 1 hour a day. She probably could out swim me for sure.


I hope to get to take a break tomorrow and go trick or treating with the girls. We will see how that goes. I get 1hr for lunch and hopefully they will let me take it at 5. I plan on running to the church for about 45 minutes and then back to work. I am going to dress up as a Titan's fan tomorrow. That should be cool and fun. Well, going to spend some time with hubby, the pizza thief.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Lots Going On In My Mind

To many things going on in my head today.

I started off eating breakfast and watching Good Morning America. I was just flipping and I saw something about Grand Theft Auto on there. To make a long story short. The discussion was about kids using this game as a training session to live out the game in real life. I was sitting there while they discussed how it was the industries fault that these kids were allowed to buy these games. I was dumbfounded. The guy in support of the game said exactly what I was thinking. He was like as a parent if you don't know what your kids top 5 video games that they play are there is the problem. IT is true it is all about parenting today. People pop out babies and want other people to be responsible in educating them. They want society to determine the morals for their kids rather than being active in their kids lives and determining that themselves.

Had a nice lunch with Michelle today. We discussed kind of what I have been blogging about, love, genuine people, and being open to people. It was nice and edifying. She is a very edifying person to be around. She always lifts me up. She cool.


I am learning that in my life, I need to surround myself with people like her that 1. Don't try to change me. 2. Are positive, 3. Are genuinely concerned about what God wants for their life. 4. Are genuine in who they are and not afraid to let people see their short comings. For me that is what a real person does. It is not the Webster's definition for it, but for ME that is what it means.

Well must go do some laundry and house work before going to my 3 job. 1 being housewife, 2. pe teacher, 3 being office depot employee.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Driving is theraphy

or riding I should say. I headed down to the lake today with my mom and all the kiddies to take some ceiling fans to mom and dad's new house that is being built. I love that drive. I always get bummed at first when I have to go down to the lake, but once I am on the road it is very tranquil. Just get on Danville Road and head south. The road is not really busy and there are a lot of houses and trees. There are a couple of towns, but for the most part it is awesome I guess any drive in the country is that way. It is just all about getting out into nature and enjoying. Seeing the leaves changing to their fall color was beautiful. I just thought of this: why aren't people that colorful as they get older maybe they are and we just miss it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

So much to say

and not talking about Dave Matthews either. That is my favorite DMB song.

Loving people is not always easy really. I have a lot on my heart tonight and in this world it is hard to find kind, loving, geniune people who just don't care about who you are and what you have to bring to the table. In friendships, it is hard to come across someone that wants to be around you to not change you, but to encourage you and lift you up. I have thought about this some time now. Why are those kind of people hard to find?

I think that the lost world is looking for that. I think that the polictical realm is looking for that. I think Christians would want that if they were not to busy being that way.

We are all made up to be differnt parts of the body granted. But, is the basis of our faith as Christ followers not For God so LOVED? I think of that song Where is the love?

People killing people dyingChildren hurtin you hear them crying Can you practice what you preachWould you turn the other cheek?Father Father Father help us Send some guidance from above Cause people got me got me questioning Where is the love? Black Eyed Pea

I want to love people as Christ did and I want to hate sin in the Christian Culture like he did (Saducees and Pharisees like he did.

I want my kids to grow up and be like Him whether no one else is or not.

I have to be kind. I have to love, I have to forgive, I have to be genuine. I have to patient, I have to be whatever he wills me to be.

God help me allow your spirit to work through me and allow its fruit to take over me.

Monday, October 25, 2004

No I am not putting that in my blog Scott...

im conversations don't belong here. What was it I was supposed to write hmmm

I am very pround of Holly my 9 year old. She try out for the swim team today and made it. I am just proud of her for trying out. She starts of in the 1st group and moves up as she gets better. It will be good for her. She will learn a lot. It will help her realize that she still has some things to learn in her life. She is such the little perfectionist just like mom and dad. So some good life lessons hopefully will come with this new territory.

I am still enjoying my book. I am taking it slow so I don't miss anything and I am trying to contemplate what the author is saying about inner peace. I spirtually right now am so foccussed on where I need to be with God that I don't have time to worry about what is going on anywhere else. I teach a class of 9-12 year old kids on every other Sunday. It is very humbling to me to teach those girls. Most of the time the topics we discuss God is dealing with me in my life. Friendships, Self esteem etc. It is amazing to me that God uses things to speak to us when we are open to him.

It was nice being home tonight. I cooked supper and cleaned up the dishes. My house is actually clean and I want have to wake up to tons of work tomorrow. I will have time to work on some grades and such for school.


Sunday, October 24, 2004

Swimming in October

Amazing, but true. Yes, it feels like summer today. Even though the pool was indoors, aI find it odd that we went swimming in October. It was very relaxing. It want surprise me if we do that more often on Sunday's.

I have been reading my book. Its amazing. It really is helping me sort through some issues that I am experiencing in my life at the moment. I am trying to seek a balance and equilibrium in my life. Not to be to hyperly happy, but not to be down in the dumps either. Doing what makes me happy regardless if anyone approves or not. Being different.

I enjoyed a talk with Dabney at lunch today. We talked about happiness and where it comes from. We talked about how you must be happy with yourself and not seek happiness from others and activity. We talked about some other stuff to it was very cool.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

That book that I wasn't going to buy is now mine. My sweet husband bought it for me last night while I was at work. I look foward to reading some of it today. It is wierd last night was the first time we had't had a date night in along time due to me working. I love our date nights. On the brighter side, So far It looks like that I will have more time at home. I worked last night and then I don't have to work until Thursday so cool. I am trying to talk myself into going walking this morning. I have some other things to do. I owe it to my body to walk.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

JACKPOT!!!! SUPER JACKPOT!!!!

Like I was up at the church like pricing yard sale stuff and like I looked around like first and hit the jackpot on 3 cd's. Don't call me crazy for listing them either. I used to be really big into Janet Jackson. I loved Janet Jackson. I found control and bought it for $.25. I also scored The IMMACULATE collection Madonna and Dangerous, Michael Jackson. yes I know he is a little crazy now, but not from the early days. So I scored some stuff at the yard sale. If you want to try to score some come Saturday and thanks a billion to ever brought these cd's up at the sale.

I got my schedule for next week I will work Friday and then be off sat, sun, mon tues, wed, and then work thurs, fri, sat, so far. That is cool 5 days off wow.

get a day alone tomorrow. The girls are going the lake early an all i have to do is wash dishes, price a few items at the yard sale and then it is all me until 3. I have to work.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I had a very busy day today. We had to finish up Heidi's leaf collection. I had to finish up costumes for tomorrow and I had to shopping for some black pants for office depot. Then, I had to clean house and get ready for work. I amazingly got all of it done. I was proud of myself for getting everything done. I am now patting myself on the back. I didn't however go to read tonight on my break. I was starving so I ate the pretzels that I had packed and then went and got some veg. fried rice from New China. I am now suffering from a bad ear ache. I hope amongst all the leaves we collected that I didn't collect a bug. Oh by the way thanks to Mavis and Grandmother for all their help with the collection and Thanks to Kim and Wes for the leaves. (by the way they don't know that I got leaves out of their yard yet.)lol. Very productive day.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Productive Night

Tonight was very productive for me. I spent some time with the family. It was fun. We had dinner, then we headed over to books a million. Trying to clear my mind, I picked up some books on yoga. This is a topic I have been doing some research on for some time. Yoga has helped with some circulation issues that I have having. I found this great book called walking yoga. Not even thinking about the issue that I posted in my earlier post, I opened the book and started reading. I found some great answers to the questions that I asked myself earlier. The book talked about how yoga is more than just doing a few stretches. It is not only physical, but emotional and spiritual. Before you get the wrong idea, this book did not promote a religious theme, even though their is a religious system behind it. It even said No matter if you are catholic, Muslim, or yogi that we all need a balance in our life and equilibrium. It discussed really the Biblical idea of contentment. Not feeling sorry for yourself because you have failed at your many task, and not striving to do better. It is about finding happiness where you are at. Amazing to me. Instead of buying the book, I have decided that on my lunch break at work that I will run over to books a million every night and read a little each night that I work. It will keep me from eating to much or buying something I don't need to. I have decided to really find time to cleanse myself emotionally, physically and spiritually. I have decided to find time to have for myself to breathe the air the God has given us to breathe. Wow how productive tonight was.

Big Mistake

Watching Inside the Actor's Studio. Every time that I watch that show, it challenges me to think about someone that is successful at what they want to do. They all pretty much say the same thing about their success. They all just are doing what they love to do. They didn't want to be famous persae, but they just are good at what they love to do. So It made me think, what is my niche? What am I good at? What do I love to do? I love to teach, I love sports, I love making people happy. So I now I must explore these avenues to see where true fulfillment is going to come from. I see people say all the time, I want to do this and I want to do that, but we don't want to do anything except talk about what we want to do. People that are successful in this world are not only famous people, but they are people who are doing what they love to do. No matter if they fail at it. It is all in the trying. Some people may work at McDonald's all their life. They may never be a millionaire. They may never make the tonight show, but if they are happy to me that = success. I want to start passing this own to my kids. For me, I love being a wife, mom, and a teacher. I am not just talking about kids either, I love teaching anything. So teaching a Sunday school class,and teaching a pe class to k-12 kids is success because I am doing what I love to do. I may have to supplement my love by working a job I don't care about, but I have to find the fufillment in doing what I love to do.

Comments Please

I decided to update the blog a little. I got sick of the baby poop color. I decided to go with my favorite color pink. So if you read my blog tell me what ya think. I like it. I like it a lot.


Stormy day here in Alabama. I get to be off today. So much for the leaf collection. Maybe we can do a little this afternoon since I don't work. Woohoo.


Monday, October 18, 2004

Various Thoughts

Job is going to be ok. I only have to work m, w, f this week. 3-9:30. That is cool. We all will enjoy me being off on swim days. I will actually get to cook supper 2 nights this week. That will be nice.


My nieces birthday party is Saturday. I hope it want be crazy. I will probably not stay the whole time. We will see.

I enjoyed the weekend. I can tell that I am not get any younger. I found myself still recovering this afternoon from sleep lost.

I did enjoy some time alone with Tara(my sister-in-law). She is one of my best friends. I got to talk to her about some issues that I am going through on a personal level. The lack of true friends that love and understand me for who I am. Most of the friends that I call friends wouldn't be my friend if Eric wasn't around. That is our common bond. Eric. I talked to Tara about my complex about that. I just have to except that and move on. I wished that I could find a Tara that lived close by. I have got to get off of my duff and meet some people. Anyway, talking to Tara, was great. She really provides insight to the things that I am going through. It is like I told her I don't have to worry about what I say or do in front of you because you love me for me. Most people aren't like that. If you do stuff in front of them they get offended or annoyed. I have sought friendships in people and it seems that everyone doesn't have time to have the kind of relationship I seek. Oh well, I will find my David/Jonathan relationship if I keep praying and searching.

After reading Eric and Scott's blog, I am really touched and amazed at where they are spiritually. It is so hard to look beyond what you are raised up in all your life and see things in a different light. They see it, why don't I. I guess I am to content. I am just happy wherever I am. I don't think things could be better. Just whatever.


I got a book on postmodernism that I am going to try to read. It is probably way over my head.

I have to help Heidi finish up her leaf collection this week. That will be fun fun.

Must go to bed in moment. Must have sleep.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Awesome in Atlanta

Outside of my directions, it was a pretty good time in Atlanta. I found something I liked at a Japanese restaurant. I got to see some really cool bands. I got to spend time with some family. I experienced all of this with some friends. It was cool. If you like the beastie boys, you need to check out the family force 5. They were good in my opinion. Submersed was good. I loved the lead singers falsetto. Crossfade was great. They need new sound people. IT wasn't bad, but it could have been better. Alterbridge was good to. The whole place came alive when they played. All in all it was a good time. I am glad to be home and look forward to going to my new job tomorrow.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Before  Posted by Hello

Last Day on the Job

Today was my last day at Whitt's. It is bitter sweet really. I will miss the people I work with, but I look foward to change. I will be making a lot more money. Office Depot pays pretty good for a retail chain. I am heading out of town for the weekend. It should be fun. I get to see one of my best friends.(My sister in law). She is truly a great friend. I rummaged through some old photos and found these pictures of me before weight watchers. Wowzers, Jinkes.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

very relaxing

Today was a very relaxing day. I didn't go anywhere except work. I stayed here and got caught up on some school stuff. I watched a little tv and then headed to work. With the fair in town, not much traffic. Now I am home. I think E and I are going to try to talk about some financial stuff. Should be a fun evening.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Religon + Politics = Intense Work enviorment

That is what happened at work tonight. We discuss politics all the time. I said not tonight guys. I have had enough. They are Kerry supports. I myself am still deciding. So somehow Religon came up. I probably would have rather discussed politics. I hate discussing doctrine. I don't mind talking about what Christ has done for me, but doctrinal difference are crazy. I feel you must share the message of Christ with people. Then, you have to allow them to let God guide them to believe the truth. The 2 paticular people that I discussed this with are Church of Christ. I for the most part am no denomination. Even though a lot of what I believe stems from the baptist denomination. So it was an intresting evening.

Outerspace and Jesus in Samaria

Yesterday, Eric and I watched a show on Discovery about Spaceship One. It was very inspiring. We learned a lot of stuff. One of the most interesting facts was about the pilot. He was a highschool dropout. The thing that amazes me about that one fact is that man flew into space. He wanted to accomplish something and he did it. That tells me that whatever we want to accomplish in our life we can do it. I myself have things I say I want to accomplish, but I guess I don't have the fortitude. I allow situations to get in my way and block what I want to accomplish.

I read this morning to the girls about Jesus and the woman at the well. As I read the end of the story I thought wow. How must that woman have felt when Jesus said I am He. The most modern thing I can think of in comparison is Darth Vader telling Luke I am your father. It must have been amazing coming face to face with Jesus.

Holiday today. It is rainy. No school. I still have to work. That will be loads of fun. Only 4 more days at Whitt's Barbeque and the 3 days off and then Office Depot awaits.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

at least the house is clean

That is what Eric and I did today. He cleaned up the office really well. I went through and cleaned up the kitchen and the bedrooms pretty good.

We headed our seperate ways. I went to pick up the girls. I had a nice relaxing drive listen to part of the bama game. Then, I popped in a praise and worship cd and jammed out the rest of the way. It is awesome how getting out in the country can work wonders for you. Eric and I used to do that a lot. This was before we had money to do anything else. I miss going out driving around in the woods. It was nice to be on that country road and focus on nothing but God. I was able to clear my head and just breathe.

Came back to reality and headed to publix. The check out guys were funny. Now about to decide on plans for the night.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I thought debates were supposed to help the undecided

I didn't think that debates were to make you more frustrated. Why do things have to be so complicated

chill out whatcha yelling´ for?Lay back it´s all been done beforeAnd if you could only let it be you will see why do you have to go and make things so complicated?I see the way you´re acting like you´re somebody else gets me frustratedLife´s like this youAnd you fall and you crawl and you breakand you take what you get and you turn it into honestyand promise me I´m never gonna find you fake itno no

This song so applies to both candidates. ARRGGH.

In all reality this decision of who is president is really not gonna effect the riches(80's brat pack reference) AKA Bush's and Kerry's. No matter who is president, they will still have health care, they will still have monay, they will be set financial for the rest of their lives. So in all reality how can they convince me that they really care about me. They can play kindergarten politics all they want to (My decisions weren't as bad as your decisions). The bottom line is I don't care about that. I just want hones and a promise that I want find them faking. I haven't and probably want get that. There are so many discrepancies with the credibility of each candidate it makes me sick. I know that my morals tell me on issues like abortion that bush is the man. Kerry is more stable on finances. The bottom line is who makes me FEEL safe the bush admin or the Kerry admin. HMMMMMM. When I get the answer to that I will vote for that man. Please comment and convince me that I will feel safe with either one of these guys in office.



Thursday, October 07, 2004

I have it figured out!!!!!!!!!

No I am not talking about who I am going to vote for. No I am not talking about what I want for dinner. I am talking about life in general. I came full circle yesterday to the stunning revelation that. The only person I need to please is God. I am such the people pleaser. I want to fit in, I want people to like me. Heck, I want life to be all about me. I know all of that seems a bit cocky and arogant, but that is the way my genitic make up works. I feel that I am fine most of the time, but the times when I feel the whole world is against ( I know that it isn't really), I always come back to the fact that my life should be foccussed on pleasing HIM. Not Eric, Not the kids, Not my family, NOt my friends, Not my boss. In pleasing God, if anyone gets blessed or agrees great, but if not that is ok to for me. Galations 1:10 comes to mind. Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I should not be a servant of Christ. In the end, He is the one that is with you when no one else is. yeah family and friends are great, but you will disgree with them and they may not like you anymore. God always loves you. The bottom line with HIM is you can trust him to guide you on the path you need to be on. I know as I look back in my life that God has always been faithful to guide me where I need to go. Even though at times, I never knew where He was taking me.

To sum it up!!!! I am trying to work on pleasing HIM not men. God this is my witness that I want to please you in all that I do. Please help me be what I need to reach others for you.


Wednesday, October 06, 2004

What a crappy day

You ever feel like nothing is going well? You ever just wake up and wonder what the heck you are doing with your life? That is the kind of afternoon I had yesterday and the kind of morning I am having. I just am so frustrated with a lot of things. Call me needy, whiny that is fine. Nothing like teaching kids about God's forgiveness and then having to practice what you preach during the week by forgiving people who have done wrong to you. Even if they didn't even ask for it. That is supposed to make me feel good right, well I am still waiting for that feel good moment. I am so tired of fighting the financial battle to. I feel like today that I need to go get another job on top of my new one so that I never have to worry about money again. Dang, I might even get 3 jobs. I am tired of everything in my life right now at this moment, but I would miss it if God pulled a Job on me. I guess that is what they call bitter sweet. I feel like I am rambling, but that comes with frustration. I don't feel appreciated in my life at work, home, or elsewhere. Politics is driving me insane. Who do these people think they are? They sit in Washington saying there is poverty, unemployment, no healthcare. If they all would take a 10% pay cut they could probably take care of all those problems. That would be 7, 500,000 dollars that could be used very well.

When Gore was vice p he made 181, 400 annually

Bill Clinton makes $200,000 and gets additional money in various expense accounts. However, in September 1999, President Clinton signed legislation that will increase the presidential salary to $400,000, effective January 2001

Currently the total pay for all members of Congress is about $75 million.

Senate and House majority and minority leaders: $156,900
Other senators and representatives: $141,300

Although, they don't make a bundle, in the private sector, they make more. So they sit high on the hog really. Maybe if the salary of the President was lowered instead of increased, we would save a little.

Well, that about covers my frustrations I guess. I have to get busy and do some of that rewarding house work that I get to do everyday. Then I have to go to my job where I am appreciated beyond measure. Then I get to come back home and go to bed and start again tomorrow. Woohoo. I am thrilled.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Halloween is on its way

I am so excited at this moment. I finished Halloween costumes really early. I just finished stiching a pumpkin to the back of Holly's cape. Wow what a feeling of accomplishement. I actually took care of costumes all by myself this year. I usually inlist my mother in laws help because she is an awesome seamstress. Not this year. She will be proud of me. She is always trying to get me to sew.

I have been trying to settle back into a groove. I am almost there. I am still a little tense about everything. I don't know what has been bugging me lately.

I start a new job on the 18th that will be fun. Change is good.

It was nice to see Tania and the band last night. We went up to Sister Luck's practice.

I am so counting the days until the 15th. We will be going out of town on well needed vacation. I am looking foward to seeing the 3 bands we will see that weekend.

Ahhh only 9 more days.



Sunday, October 03, 2004

Busy but Fun

I enjoyed spending the day with the family yesterday in Huntsville. Although I do enjoy my friday night date night with sweet lips, I really enjoyed having the girls home this weekend. We spend the day doing fun shopping and lunch and ice cream. I love spending time with all of us together. I know that they are slowly approaching the I don't want to be around mom and dad stage. I want to enjoy my time with them as much as possible. Next year may be there first year in school or at least Holly's. (Still debating). I am about to embark on my career at 34. Although, I have taught since 1997, I will start trying to find a teaching job possible next year. So with all of these changes on the horizon, I am going to try to enjoy each day that God allows me to be with my kids. They can be pretty darn exhausting sometimes, but for the most part, we have raised some pretty good kids with the good lord's help. So be nice to your mom today, she had to put witth your crap for long enough.

Friday, October 01, 2004

I have decided what to do with my life

I pretty much decided over the last couple of days that I am going back to school to get my certification updated. I currently work at Whitt's Barbeque, but as of October 18, I will be at Office Depot. I will try to go back to ASU in the spring and take my 2 classes. I am thinking of putting my 2 precious daughters in public school and seeking a postion in Education. We will see how things go with that. I love teaching. It is very rewarding. I teach pe to about 50 kids as noted in one other post. I get so much out of that. I have been homeschooling and not pursued that career, but that is all about to change.

Went to dinner at Jemisons with hubby. It was very relaxing. The moon was beautiful over the river. It was orangish. We met a lady and her mother there. They were very cultured people. She had two mixed sheep dogs. They were gorgeous. The lady was very nice, and we enjoyed talking with her.

Now going to veg and watch tv.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

NOT ENOUGH! YIKES!

All in all it was a crazy day for me. Heidi woke me up this morning a 7:00 to remind me we had homeschool classes at 9:00. I rolled back over and went to sleep until 8. Got up and headed out to teach around 50 kids pe.

Ran some errands and then I had to go take a pee pee test for my new possible job at Office Depot. My brain must have lapsed or something. (This happens quite a bit). Right before I headed over to the clinic to take the drug test, I went to the bathroom. So when I got there I couldn't even fill up half of the cup. So I had to retake the test 30 minutes later. No problem that time.

I hope to get a good night sleep. I am headed to shower and to bed.


One thing I did notice was how beautiful the moon was tonight. It reminded me that God allows it to rise every night. Just as that is the case, He allows me to breathe everyday. It was a reminder that he is in control of my wacky life.

God help me through all my wackiness to find you.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Still Up

Wow, I hate making changes in my life like jobs and such. I get a little anxious and can't sleep. Even though the changes are exciting and for the best, I still get anxious. I guess I should just trust God to take care of all of it. Conciously I try, but my subconcious takes over. Here it is 1:40 in the morning. I have classes to teach at 9:00 in the morning and I can't sleep. My alarm is going to go off in less than 6 hours and here I sit. Oh well must try to go to sleep I guess.

Day in the Life

Got in bed at 3 this morning couldn't sleep due to anxiety. I hate restless nights because I love sleep. Mom woke me up and I went with her and the kids to my grandmother's house. I had to go visit. It has been awhile since I last saw her. I felt kind of guilty since she only lives 15 minutes from my house. Life is has been pretty busy. (Lame excuse). I love my grandmother so much. My goal is to visit her more. I feel like my life is just very busy stuff. I get up every morning do the exercise thing, then the school thing, then clean the house thing, then work thing, then if there is nothing planned the family thing, then I go to bed to get up and start over again. Even though I stay busy, I love it. The weekends are nice.

I headed over to office depot for an interview. I am trying to get a job making more monay so we can spend more monay. That is the way I feel sometimes. The dream of being debt free seems just to be a dream. We lose sight so many times, but I keep telling myself it will be a reality one day.

About to head out of the house for awhile. Last night did me in. I sat and veged out a little to much.


I should find out about the job at office depot soon. I will have to start working at least every other weekend, but they close at 7 on Saturday and Sunday they open 12-6. We will see. I have some other job opps that I am waiting to hear from, this is the one that seems to be the one that is opening. for me right now.


Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Back in the saddle

Here I am back in the saddle again. I thought I would follow in the footsteps of the old man. Also, I really missed doing this.