Sunday, October 31, 2004

Sunday Church at Subway

I went to work this morning at 10:00 so I didn't get to go to crosspoint to church, but that didn't stop me from having a mindset of worshiping God today. I tried really hard by listening to the local radio station to listen to God speak to me. well at 11;00 I went to Subway with a couple of my co workers. We were sitting around and I started asking them about the music they liked and we got off on where I go to church and we begin to talk about true worship right there in the middle of subway. Derek, my co worker was like well we just had church It was a cool moment for me. I really can't put into words how important that was to me to see God work in my life and meet the need I had. I didn't really feel that bad about missing church anymore after that. I started building a friendship with two guys that I seem to have a good bit in common with.

Switching directions here. I just feel like writing about My lover, my husband E. IF YOU FEEL SICK AT THE SOUND OF SAPPINESS SKIP DOWN TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH. I want the whole blogging world to know how much I Love him. Even though things are not always that whole Cinderella story that I thought that I was getting, I would rather be where I am at today having learned what I have learned than be in Prince charming/s Castle with all the riches in the world. No one has it all together. My friends either have money are families and want what each other has. I would much rather have love than money. Ask me why I love my lover so much because he is the most Wonderful Man in the Whole Wide World. I am sorry if I have embarrassed you honey, but I love you.

Well here is the next paragraph I am done. Must go play Barbie's with Heidi.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Happy Trick or Treat!!!!

Yes, We celebrated Halloween today because our city chose for us to. Which was fine to me. I had to work most of the day. It was pretty slow today.

Friday, October 29, 2004

Work is good.

I had to go back today. It is weird that I didn't sleep well last night. I woke up at 4 AM and couldn't go back to sleep until 7 and the got up at 8:30. So I am a wee bit tired now. I have to work this weekend SAT AND SUN. I don't mind so much. Seeing as I only have to work TUes and Thurs next week. I am getting about the same hours as Whitt's and making a little more in the process. I seem to be doing excellent at work. Everyone keeps saying, you are doing better than I was at this point. That makes me feel good.

I felt an overwhelming burden to be debt free today. I guess I took to deep a look into what we owe. We just have to get back on the band wagon of paying things off like we should. Get it back under control. It want take long. We are close to paying one bill off and it should be taken care of in a couple of weeks then the next one want take to terrible long hopefully. Then Christmas comes around and we have a tripped planned (Family Affair). Then in January, we will be back to hitting the debt.

I am looking forward to Holly's first swim meet. I don't want her to be to pressured to win. I just want her to try. She sure is slimming up since she swims 3 days a week now. Maybe I should do that for 1 hour a day. She probably could out swim me for sure.

I hope to get to take a break tomorrow and go trick or treating with the girls. We will see how that goes. I get 1hr for lunch and hopefully they will let me take it at 5. I plan on running to the church for about 45 minutes and then back to work. I am going to dress up as a Titan's fan tomorrow. That should be cool and fun. Well, going to spend some time with hubby, the pizza thief.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Lots Going On In My Mind

To many things going on in my head today.

I started off eating breakfast and watching Good Morning America. I was just flipping and I saw something about Grand Theft Auto on there. To make a long story short. The discussion was about kids using this game as a training session to live out the game in real life. I was sitting there while they discussed how it was the industries fault that these kids were allowed to buy these games. I was dumbfounded. The guy in support of the game said exactly what I was thinking. He was like as a parent if you don't know what your kids top 5 video games that they play are there is the problem. IT is true it is all about parenting today. People pop out babies and want other people to be responsible in educating them. They want society to determine the morals for their kids rather than being active in their kids lives and determining that themselves.

Had a nice lunch with Michelle today. We discussed kind of what I have been blogging about, love, genuine people, and being open to people. It was nice and edifying. She is a very edifying person to be around. She always lifts me up. She cool.

I am learning that in my life, I need to surround myself with people like her that 1. Don't try to change me. 2. Are positive, 3. Are genuinely concerned about what God wants for their life. 4. Are genuine in who they are and not afraid to let people see their short comings. For me that is what a real person does. It is not the Webster's definition for it, but for ME that is what it means.

Well must go do some laundry and house work before going to my 3 job. 1 being housewife, 2. pe teacher, 3 being office depot employee.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Driving is theraphy

or riding I should say. I headed down to the lake today with my mom and all the kiddies to take some ceiling fans to mom and dad's new house that is being built. I love that drive. I always get bummed at first when I have to go down to the lake, but once I am on the road it is very tranquil. Just get on Danville Road and head south. The road is not really busy and there are a lot of houses and trees. There are a couple of towns, but for the most part it is awesome I guess any drive in the country is that way. It is just all about getting out into nature and enjoying. Seeing the leaves changing to their fall color was beautiful. I just thought of this: why aren't people that colorful as they get older maybe they are and we just miss it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

So much to say

and not talking about Dave Matthews either. That is my favorite DMB song.

Loving people is not always easy really. I have a lot on my heart tonight and in this world it is hard to find kind, loving, geniune people who just don't care about who you are and what you have to bring to the table. In friendships, it is hard to come across someone that wants to be around you to not change you, but to encourage you and lift you up. I have thought about this some time now. Why are those kind of people hard to find?

I think that the lost world is looking for that. I think that the polictical realm is looking for that. I think Christians would want that if they were not to busy being that way.

We are all made up to be differnt parts of the body granted. But, is the basis of our faith as Christ followers not For God so LOVED? I think of that song Where is the love?

People killing people dyingChildren hurtin you hear them crying Can you practice what you preachWould you turn the other cheek?Father Father Father help us Send some guidance from above Cause people got me got me questioning Where is the love? Black Eyed Pea

I want to love people as Christ did and I want to hate sin in the Christian Culture like he did (Saducees and Pharisees like he did.

I want my kids to grow up and be like Him whether no one else is or not.

I have to be kind. I have to love, I have to forgive, I have to be genuine. I have to patient, I have to be whatever he wills me to be.

God help me allow your spirit to work through me and allow its fruit to take over me.

Monday, October 25, 2004

No I am not putting that in my blog Scott...

im conversations don't belong here. What was it I was supposed to write hmmm

I am very pround of Holly my 9 year old. She try out for the swim team today and made it. I am just proud of her for trying out. She starts of in the 1st group and moves up as she gets better. It will be good for her. She will learn a lot. It will help her realize that she still has some things to learn in her life. She is such the little perfectionist just like mom and dad. So some good life lessons hopefully will come with this new territory.

I am still enjoying my book. I am taking it slow so I don't miss anything and I am trying to contemplate what the author is saying about inner peace. I spirtually right now am so foccussed on where I need to be with God that I don't have time to worry about what is going on anywhere else. I teach a class of 9-12 year old kids on every other Sunday. It is very humbling to me to teach those girls. Most of the time the topics we discuss God is dealing with me in my life. Friendships, Self esteem etc. It is amazing to me that God uses things to speak to us when we are open to him.

It was nice being home tonight. I cooked supper and cleaned up the dishes. My house is actually clean and I want have to wake up to tons of work tomorrow. I will have time to work on some grades and such for school.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Swimming in October

Amazing, but true. Yes, it feels like summer today. Even though the pool was indoors, aI find it odd that we went swimming in October. It was very relaxing. It want surprise me if we do that more often on Sunday's.

I have been reading my book. Its amazing. It really is helping me sort through some issues that I am experiencing in my life at the moment. I am trying to seek a balance and equilibrium in my life. Not to be to hyperly happy, but not to be down in the dumps either. Doing what makes me happy regardless if anyone approves or not. Being different.

I enjoyed a talk with Dabney at lunch today. We talked about happiness and where it comes from. We talked about how you must be happy with yourself and not seek happiness from others and activity. We talked about some other stuff to it was very cool.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

That book that I wasn't going to buy is now mine. My sweet husband bought it for me last night while I was at work. I look foward to reading some of it today. It is wierd last night was the first time we had't had a date night in along time due to me working. I love our date nights. On the brighter side, So far It looks like that I will have more time at home. I worked last night and then I don't have to work until Thursday so cool. I am trying to talk myself into going walking this morning. I have some other things to do. I owe it to my body to walk.

Thursday, October 21, 2004


Like I was up at the church like pricing yard sale stuff and like I looked around like first and hit the jackpot on 3 cd's. Don't call me crazy for listing them either. I used to be really big into Janet Jackson. I loved Janet Jackson. I found control and bought it for $.25. I also scored The IMMACULATE collection Madonna and Dangerous, Michael Jackson. yes I know he is a little crazy now, but not from the early days. So I scored some stuff at the yard sale. If you want to try to score some come Saturday and thanks a billion to ever brought these cd's up at the sale.

I got my schedule for next week I will work Friday and then be off sat, sun, mon tues, wed, and then work thurs, fri, sat, so far. That is cool 5 days off wow.

get a day alone tomorrow. The girls are going the lake early an all i have to do is wash dishes, price a few items at the yard sale and then it is all me until 3. I have to work.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I had a very busy day today. We had to finish up Heidi's leaf collection. I had to finish up costumes for tomorrow and I had to shopping for some black pants for office depot. Then, I had to clean house and get ready for work. I amazingly got all of it done. I was proud of myself for getting everything done. I am now patting myself on the back. I didn't however go to read tonight on my break. I was starving so I ate the pretzels that I had packed and then went and got some veg. fried rice from New China. I am now suffering from a bad ear ache. I hope amongst all the leaves we collected that I didn't collect a bug. Oh by the way thanks to Mavis and Grandmother for all their help with the collection and Thanks to Kim and Wes for the leaves. (by the way they don't know that I got leaves out of their yard yet.)lol. Very productive day.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Productive Night

Tonight was very productive for me. I spent some time with the family. It was fun. We had dinner, then we headed over to books a million. Trying to clear my mind, I picked up some books on yoga. This is a topic I have been doing some research on for some time. Yoga has helped with some circulation issues that I have having. I found this great book called walking yoga. Not even thinking about the issue that I posted in my earlier post, I opened the book and started reading. I found some great answers to the questions that I asked myself earlier. The book talked about how yoga is more than just doing a few stretches. It is not only physical, but emotional and spiritual. Before you get the wrong idea, this book did not promote a religious theme, even though their is a religious system behind it. It even said No matter if you are catholic, Muslim, or yogi that we all need a balance in our life and equilibrium. It discussed really the Biblical idea of contentment. Not feeling sorry for yourself because you have failed at your many task, and not striving to do better. It is about finding happiness where you are at. Amazing to me. Instead of buying the book, I have decided that on my lunch break at work that I will run over to books a million every night and read a little each night that I work. It will keep me from eating to much or buying something I don't need to. I have decided to really find time to cleanse myself emotionally, physically and spiritually. I have decided to find time to have for myself to breathe the air the God has given us to breathe. Wow how productive tonight was.

Big Mistake

Watching Inside the Actor's Studio. Every time that I watch that show, it challenges me to think about someone that is successful at what they want to do. They all pretty much say the same thing about their success. They all just are doing what they love to do. They didn't want to be famous persae, but they just are good at what they love to do. So It made me think, what is my niche? What am I good at? What do I love to do? I love to teach, I love sports, I love making people happy. So I now I must explore these avenues to see where true fulfillment is going to come from. I see people say all the time, I want to do this and I want to do that, but we don't want to do anything except talk about what we want to do. People that are successful in this world are not only famous people, but they are people who are doing what they love to do. No matter if they fail at it. It is all in the trying. Some people may work at McDonald's all their life. They may never be a millionaire. They may never make the tonight show, but if they are happy to me that = success. I want to start passing this own to my kids. For me, I love being a wife, mom, and a teacher. I am not just talking about kids either, I love teaching anything. So teaching a Sunday school class,and teaching a pe class to k-12 kids is success because I am doing what I love to do. I may have to supplement my love by working a job I don't care about, but I have to find the fufillment in doing what I love to do.

Comments Please

I decided to update the blog a little. I got sick of the baby poop color. I decided to go with my favorite color pink. So if you read my blog tell me what ya think. I like it. I like it a lot.

Stormy day here in Alabama. I get to be off today. So much for the leaf collection. Maybe we can do a little this afternoon since I don't work. Woohoo.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Various Thoughts

Job is going to be ok. I only have to work m, w, f this week. 3-9:30. That is cool. We all will enjoy me being off on swim days. I will actually get to cook supper 2 nights this week. That will be nice.

My nieces birthday party is Saturday. I hope it want be crazy. I will probably not stay the whole time. We will see.

I enjoyed the weekend. I can tell that I am not get any younger. I found myself still recovering this afternoon from sleep lost.

I did enjoy some time alone with Tara(my sister-in-law). She is one of my best friends. I got to talk to her about some issues that I am going through on a personal level. The lack of true friends that love and understand me for who I am. Most of the friends that I call friends wouldn't be my friend if Eric wasn't around. That is our common bond. Eric. I talked to Tara about my complex about that. I just have to except that and move on. I wished that I could find a Tara that lived close by. I have got to get off of my duff and meet some people. Anyway, talking to Tara, was great. She really provides insight to the things that I am going through. It is like I told her I don't have to worry about what I say or do in front of you because you love me for me. Most people aren't like that. If you do stuff in front of them they get offended or annoyed. I have sought friendships in people and it seems that everyone doesn't have time to have the kind of relationship I seek. Oh well, I will find my David/Jonathan relationship if I keep praying and searching.

After reading Eric and Scott's blog, I am really touched and amazed at where they are spiritually. It is so hard to look beyond what you are raised up in all your life and see things in a different light. They see it, why don't I. I guess I am to content. I am just happy wherever I am. I don't think things could be better. Just whatever.

I got a book on postmodernism that I am going to try to read. It is probably way over my head.

I have to help Heidi finish up her leaf collection this week. That will be fun fun.

Must go to bed in moment. Must have sleep.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Awesome in Atlanta

Outside of my directions, it was a pretty good time in Atlanta. I found something I liked at a Japanese restaurant. I got to see some really cool bands. I got to spend time with some family. I experienced all of this with some friends. It was cool. If you like the beastie boys, you need to check out the family force 5. They were good in my opinion. Submersed was good. I loved the lead singers falsetto. Crossfade was great. They need new sound people. IT wasn't bad, but it could have been better. Alterbridge was good to. The whole place came alive when they played. All in all it was a good time. I am glad to be home and look forward to going to my new job tomorrow.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Before  Posted by Hello

Last Day on the Job

Today was my last day at Whitt's. It is bitter sweet really. I will miss the people I work with, but I look foward to change. I will be making a lot more money. Office Depot pays pretty good for a retail chain. I am heading out of town for the weekend. It should be fun. I get to see one of my best friends.(My sister in law). She is truly a great friend. I rummaged through some old photos and found these pictures of me before weight watchers. Wowzers, Jinkes.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

very relaxing

Today was a very relaxing day. I didn't go anywhere except work. I stayed here and got caught up on some school stuff. I watched a little tv and then headed to work. With the fair in town, not much traffic. Now I am home. I think E and I are going to try to talk about some financial stuff. Should be a fun evening.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Religon + Politics = Intense Work enviorment

That is what happened at work tonight. We discuss politics all the time. I said not tonight guys. I have had enough. They are Kerry supports. I myself am still deciding. So somehow Religon came up. I probably would have rather discussed politics. I hate discussing doctrine. I don't mind talking about what Christ has done for me, but doctrinal difference are crazy. I feel you must share the message of Christ with people. Then, you have to allow them to let God guide them to believe the truth. The 2 paticular people that I discussed this with are Church of Christ. I for the most part am no denomination. Even though a lot of what I believe stems from the baptist denomination. So it was an intresting evening.

Outerspace and Jesus in Samaria

Yesterday, Eric and I watched a show on Discovery about Spaceship One. It was very inspiring. We learned a lot of stuff. One of the most interesting facts was about the pilot. He was a highschool dropout. The thing that amazes me about that one fact is that man flew into space. He wanted to accomplish something and he did it. That tells me that whatever we want to accomplish in our life we can do it. I myself have things I say I want to accomplish, but I guess I don't have the fortitude. I allow situations to get in my way and block what I want to accomplish.

I read this morning to the girls about Jesus and the woman at the well. As I read the end of the story I thought wow. How must that woman have felt when Jesus said I am He. The most modern thing I can think of in comparison is Darth Vader telling Luke I am your father. It must have been amazing coming face to face with Jesus.

Holiday today. It is rainy. No school. I still have to work. That will be loads of fun. Only 4 more days at Whitt's Barbeque and the 3 days off and then Office Depot awaits.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

at least the house is clean

That is what Eric and I did today. He cleaned up the office really well. I went through and cleaned up the kitchen and the bedrooms pretty good.

We headed our seperate ways. I went to pick up the girls. I had a nice relaxing drive listen to part of the bama game. Then, I popped in a praise and worship cd and jammed out the rest of the way. It is awesome how getting out in the country can work wonders for you. Eric and I used to do that a lot. This was before we had money to do anything else. I miss going out driving around in the woods. It was nice to be on that country road and focus on nothing but God. I was able to clear my head and just breathe.

Came back to reality and headed to publix. The check out guys were funny. Now about to decide on plans for the night.

Friday, October 08, 2004

I thought debates were supposed to help the undecided

I didn't think that debates were to make you more frustrated. Why do things have to be so complicated

chill out whatcha yelling´ for?Lay back it´s all been done beforeAnd if you could only let it be you will see why do you have to go and make things so complicated?I see the way you´re acting like you´re somebody else gets me frustratedLife´s like this youAnd you fall and you crawl and you breakand you take what you get and you turn it into honestyand promise me I´m never gonna find you fake itno no

This song so applies to both candidates. ARRGGH.

In all reality this decision of who is president is really not gonna effect the riches(80's brat pack reference) AKA Bush's and Kerry's. No matter who is president, they will still have health care, they will still have monay, they will be set financial for the rest of their lives. So in all reality how can they convince me that they really care about me. They can play kindergarten politics all they want to (My decisions weren't as bad as your decisions). The bottom line is I don't care about that. I just want hones and a promise that I want find them faking. I haven't and probably want get that. There are so many discrepancies with the credibility of each candidate it makes me sick. I know that my morals tell me on issues like abortion that bush is the man. Kerry is more stable on finances. The bottom line is who makes me FEEL safe the bush admin or the Kerry admin. HMMMMMM. When I get the answer to that I will vote for that man. Please comment and convince me that I will feel safe with either one of these guys in office.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I have it figured out!!!!!!!!!

No I am not talking about who I am going to vote for. No I am not talking about what I want for dinner. I am talking about life in general. I came full circle yesterday to the stunning revelation that. The only person I need to please is God. I am such the people pleaser. I want to fit in, I want people to like me. Heck, I want life to be all about me. I know all of that seems a bit cocky and arogant, but that is the way my genitic make up works. I feel that I am fine most of the time, but the times when I feel the whole world is against ( I know that it isn't really), I always come back to the fact that my life should be foccussed on pleasing HIM. Not Eric, Not the kids, Not my family, NOt my friends, Not my boss. In pleasing God, if anyone gets blessed or agrees great, but if not that is ok to for me. Galations 1:10 comes to mind. Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I should not be a servant of Christ. In the end, He is the one that is with you when no one else is. yeah family and friends are great, but you will disgree with them and they may not like you anymore. God always loves you. The bottom line with HIM is you can trust him to guide you on the path you need to be on. I know as I look back in my life that God has always been faithful to guide me where I need to go. Even though at times, I never knew where He was taking me.

To sum it up!!!! I am trying to work on pleasing HIM not men. God this is my witness that I want to please you in all that I do. Please help me be what I need to reach others for you.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

What a crappy day

You ever feel like nothing is going well? You ever just wake up and wonder what the heck you are doing with your life? That is the kind of afternoon I had yesterday and the kind of morning I am having. I just am so frustrated with a lot of things. Call me needy, whiny that is fine. Nothing like teaching kids about God's forgiveness and then having to practice what you preach during the week by forgiving people who have done wrong to you. Even if they didn't even ask for it. That is supposed to make me feel good right, well I am still waiting for that feel good moment. I am so tired of fighting the financial battle to. I feel like today that I need to go get another job on top of my new one so that I never have to worry about money again. Dang, I might even get 3 jobs. I am tired of everything in my life right now at this moment, but I would miss it if God pulled a Job on me. I guess that is what they call bitter sweet. I feel like I am rambling, but that comes with frustration. I don't feel appreciated in my life at work, home, or elsewhere. Politics is driving me insane. Who do these people think they are? They sit in Washington saying there is poverty, unemployment, no healthcare. If they all would take a 10% pay cut they could probably take care of all those problems. That would be 7, 500,000 dollars that could be used very well.

When Gore was vice p he made 181, 400 annually

Bill Clinton makes $200,000 and gets additional money in various expense accounts. However, in September 1999, President Clinton signed legislation that will increase the presidential salary to $400,000, effective January 2001

Currently the total pay for all members of Congress is about $75 million.

Senate and House majority and minority leaders: $156,900
Other senators and representatives: $141,300

Although, they don't make a bundle, in the private sector, they make more. So they sit high on the hog really. Maybe if the salary of the President was lowered instead of increased, we would save a little.

Well, that about covers my frustrations I guess. I have to get busy and do some of that rewarding house work that I get to do everyday. Then I have to go to my job where I am appreciated beyond measure. Then I get to come back home and go to bed and start again tomorrow. Woohoo. I am thrilled.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Halloween is on its way

I am so excited at this moment. I finished Halloween costumes really early. I just finished stiching a pumpkin to the back of Holly's cape. Wow what a feeling of accomplishement. I actually took care of costumes all by myself this year. I usually inlist my mother in laws help because she is an awesome seamstress. Not this year. She will be proud of me. She is always trying to get me to sew.

I have been trying to settle back into a groove. I am almost there. I am still a little tense about everything. I don't know what has been bugging me lately.

I start a new job on the 18th that will be fun. Change is good.

It was nice to see Tania and the band last night. We went up to Sister Luck's practice.

I am so counting the days until the 15th. We will be going out of town on well needed vacation. I am looking foward to seeing the 3 bands we will see that weekend.

Ahhh only 9 more days.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Busy but Fun

I enjoyed spending the day with the family yesterday in Huntsville. Although I do enjoy my friday night date night with sweet lips, I really enjoyed having the girls home this weekend. We spend the day doing fun shopping and lunch and ice cream. I love spending time with all of us together. I know that they are slowly approaching the I don't want to be around mom and dad stage. I want to enjoy my time with them as much as possible. Next year may be there first year in school or at least Holly's. (Still debating). I am about to embark on my career at 34. Although, I have taught since 1997, I will start trying to find a teaching job possible next year. So with all of these changes on the horizon, I am going to try to enjoy each day that God allows me to be with my kids. They can be pretty darn exhausting sometimes, but for the most part, we have raised some pretty good kids with the good lord's help. So be nice to your mom today, she had to put witth your crap for long enough.

Friday, October 01, 2004

I have decided what to do with my life

I pretty much decided over the last couple of days that I am going back to school to get my certification updated. I currently work at Whitt's Barbeque, but as of October 18, I will be at Office Depot. I will try to go back to ASU in the spring and take my 2 classes. I am thinking of putting my 2 precious daughters in public school and seeking a postion in Education. We will see how things go with that. I love teaching. It is very rewarding. I teach pe to about 50 kids as noted in one other post. I get so much out of that. I have been homeschooling and not pursued that career, but that is all about to change.

Went to dinner at Jemisons with hubby. It was very relaxing. The moon was beautiful over the river. It was orangish. We met a lady and her mother there. They were very cultured people. She had two mixed sheep dogs. They were gorgeous. The lady was very nice, and we enjoyed talking with her.

Now going to veg and watch tv.