Just thinking, danger danger!!!!!

What is Christianity? and who am I? I am a seeker for sure. I seek the right path on a daily basis. My background is that I studied the Bible for about 15 years inductively. I read the Bible through many times, I did this study and that study. I gained much knowledge. I sincerly hid God's word in my heart. I allowed God to guide me in the steps I took in my life. A devasting spiritual event happened that I do not intend to write and relive. I still continued to study and seek out God. Then, I came to a spirtual point where I didn't want to study, I didn't want to learn anymore. I just started sorting. I came to a point where I wanted to know what God was saying to me and What man had taught me. (Till this day, I am still sorting.) In all honesty and sincerity, I have truly tried to seek God and allow him to guide me in my life.

Now to the thinking part, recently I have been thinking about why I don't study anymore intensely. I read on occasion, but not on a regular basis. I have no desire to study like I use to. God is still guiding me. I belive that God can use anything he created to speak to me. He reveals himself to me continually in my life. So, while thinking about all of this. I began to think about religon and beliefs, church. I feel so many times as Christians, we lose the realness of who God is. We say we our living out of the box, but we just change boxes. we get a different sized box, we get a new set of rules, we change things up, but still we dont' allow God to work were he wants to. I am not saying that we shouldn't have church services that do this and that. Maybe I think that whatever we do should just be us and not prepackaged. I can only relate to things I understand inside my box. That sickens me. How can I relate to someone who I have nothing in common with. Example., I have a friend who the only thing we have in common is where we work. We don't have similar taste, style or religion. So how do I relate to that person. I be real I think and show that person God's love while at work. I don't have to invite this person to small group or church or anything. I just show her God' s lvoe at work. That is being real. I have no desire to hang out with this person, in all honesty. I don't really care to be around her, but I feel God is using me to plant seed in this person life. I haven't honestly thought about being a witness to this person, but opportunity has arisen several times. So , I stepped up to the plate and took a swing at it. So God has used this opp to teach me that all I have to do is be relative to the situation and not add anything extra to the situation just be myself and be open to minister to whoever God places in my path. Maybe this is not the way, Maybe I am totally off base, but for now, I am not at place to do indepth study, or I don't want to hang out with people that I can't relate to, I am being me. To thine on self be true. I guess the key is like the beining of this quest of thought Who am I ? Am I a product of God or Man?