I am such an obsessive person. I run things in the ground. Yes, it is true. I hate that I am this way. being this way many times leads to diasappointment and chest pain. Arggh. I got obsessive about my weight and lost 55 pounds. I still am obsessed with that. Even though I have started eating more. I have decided to say when I start to eat something I shouldn't. Go ahead you just want to be fat. Go ahead. Eat it. Same thing with money I want to spend. Go ahead be in debt for the rest of your life. Go ahead. Is it so wrong that I want to be a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, a good grandaughter, skinny, debt free and be an actress. (not famous really, but just do theatre and film for the rest of my life and get paid for it. ) Is that to much to ask? Who knows? I say I want these things, but I exercised 1 this week, I didn't clean the house as good as I could, I didn't spend as much time with my family as I should, I didn't dote on my husband and tell him how wonderful he is all week. I am fooling myself. I fold under pressure. I am choosing my on fate. I must decide what I want and let noone or anything stand in my way.
Surgery Update (guys might want to skip this part)
I got an all clear from the dr. this week. Seems like my period will be absent for several years anyway. Then we will just have to have the plumbing taken out.
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yeah. i am the same way. i want to be fit and toned, debt free, learn programming and web design, and actually MOVE IN (clean up the back room and my room, and finish all the house project's i've started). but what do i do to advance those goals?? hardly anything. the debt is the closest one.... but everything else is just, oh, yeah, i'll do that tomorrow.... oh well. it's probably why i'll never be all i could be. i lack a strong determination and inspiration (except in really short spurts).
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